She threw down her book and went on to the balcony, where, on this close
summer night, she could breathe a little cool air. A clock somewhere in
the house chimed the half-hour. Morland was to come at ten. She longed
for, yet dreaded, his coming; regretted that she had stayed away from
the opera, where, after all, she could have observed the everlasting
human comedy. She had dined early; the evening had been interminable;
she felt nervous, and raged at her weakness. She was tired, out of
harmony with herself, fretfully conscious too of the jarring notes in
a room furnished by uneducated people of sudden wealth. The
Wolff-Salamons, out of the kindness of their shrewd hearts, had offered
the house for the season to the Hardacres, who had accepted the free
quarters with profuse expressions of gratitude; which, however, did not
prevent Mr. Hardacre from railing at the distance of the house (which
was in Holland Park) from his club, or his wife from deprecating to
her friends her temporary residence in what she was pleased to term the
Ghetto. Nor did the Wolff-Salamons' generosity mitigate the effect of
their furniture on Norma's nerves. When Jimmie's phrase came into her
head with the suddenness of a mosquito, she could bear the room no
longer.
She sat on the balcony and waited for Morland. There at least she was
free from the flaring gold and blue, and the full-length portrait of the
lady of the house, on which with delicate savagery the eminent painter
had catalogued all the shades of her ancestral vulgarity. Perhaps it was
this portrait that had brought back the irony of Jimmie's tribute. The
poem of her life! She sat with her chin on her palm, thinking bitterly
of circumstance. She had never been happy, had grown to disbelieve in so
absurd and animal a state. It had always been the same, as far back
as she could remember. Her childhood: nurses and governesses--a swift
succession of the latter till she began to regard them as remote from
her inner life as the shop girl or railway guard with whom she came into
casual contact. The life broken by visits abroad to fashionable watering
or gambling places where she wandered lonely and proud, neglected by her
parents, watching with keen eyes and imperturbable face the frivolities,
the vices, the sordidnesses, taking them all in, speculating upon
them, resolving some problems unaided and storing up others for future
elucidation. Her year at the expensive finishing school in Paris where
the smartest daughters of America babbled and chattered of money, money,
till the air seemed unfit for woman to breathe unless it were saturated
with gold dust. As hers was not, came discontent and overweening
ambitions. Yet the purity was not all killed. She remembered her first
large dinner-party. The same Lord Wyniard of the unclean scandal had
taken her down. He was thirty years older than she, and an unsavoury
reputation had reached even her young ears. The man regarded her with
the leer of a satyr.