“They make a brave show,” he said, looking round. “After all, I'm not
entirely sorry they have never been sold. I should not like to part
with them. No, I did not realise how many there were.” In spite of
his cheeriness the last words sounded a note of pathos that caught the
girl's sensitive ear.
“'Let us make a tour of inspection,” she said. They went the round,
pausing long before each picture. He said little, contrary to his habit,
for he was wont to descant on his work with playful magniloquence. He
saw the years unfold behind him and disclose the hopes of long ago yet
unfulfilled. What endless months of dreams and thrills and passionate
toil hung profitless upon these walls! Things there were, wrought from
the depths of his radiant faith in man, plucked from the heart of his
suffering, consecrated by the purest visions of his soul. Had Aline been
an older woman, a woman who had loved him, lived with him in a wife's
intimate communion, instead of being merely the tender-hearted child
of his adoption, she would have wept her heart out. For she, alone of
mortals, would have got behind such imperfections as there were, and
would have seen nothing but a crucifixion of the quivering things torn
out of the life of the beloved man. Only vaguely, elusively did the
girl feel this. But even her half-comprehending sympathy was of great
comfort. She thought no one in the world could paint like Jimmie, and
held in angry contempt a public that could pass him by. She was hotly
his advocate, furious at his rejection by hanging committees, miserably
disappointed when his pictures came back from exhibitions unsold, or
when negotiations with dealers for rights of reproduction fell through.
But she was too young to pierce to the heart of the tragedy; and Jimmie
was too brave and laughter-loving to show his pain. Other forces,
too, had been at work in her development. Recently her mind had been
grappling with the problem of her unpayable debt to him. This silent
pilgrimage round the years brought her thoughts instinctively to herself
and the monstrous burden she had been.
“I have been wondering lately, Jimmie dear,” she said at last, “whether
you would not have been more successful if you had not had all the worry
and expense and responsibility of me.”
“Good Lord!” he cried in simple amazement, “whatever are you talking
of?”
She repeated her apologia, though in less coherent terms. She felt
foolish, as a girl does when a carefully prepared expression of feeling
falls upon ears which, though inexpressibly dear, are nevertheless not
quite comprehending.
“You have had to do pot-boilers,” she said, falling into miserable
bathos, “and I remember the five-shillings-a-dozen landscapes--and you
would have spent all that time on your real work--Oh, don't you see what
I mean, Jimmie?”
She looked up at him pathetically--she was a slight slip of a girl, and
he was above the medium height. He smiled and took her fresh young face
between his hands.