Horror is a feeling that cannot last long; human nature is
incapable of supporting it. Sadness, whether from bereavement, or
disappointment, or misfortune of any kind, may linger on through life.
In my case, however, the milder and more enduring feeling of sadness
had no sufficient cause for existence. The sights which I had seen
inspired horror, and horror only. But when the first rush of this
feeling had passed there came a reaction. Calmness followed, and then
all the circumstances of my life here conspired to perpetuate that
calm. For here all on the surface was pleasant and beautiful; all the
people were amiable and courteous and most generous. I had light and
luxury and amusements. Around me there were thousands of faces, all
greeting me with cordial affection, and thousands of hands all ready
to perform my slightest wish. Above all, there was Almah. Everything
combined to make her most dear to me. My life had been such that I
never before had seen anyone whom I loved; and here Almah was the one
congenial associate in a whole world of aliens: she was beautiful
and gentle and sympathetic, and I loved her dearly, even before I
understood what my feelings were. One day I learned all, and found
that she was more precious to me than all the world.
It was one jom when she did not make her appearance as usual. On
asking after her I learned that she was ill. At this intelligence
there came over me a feeling of sickening anxiety and fear. Almah ill!
What if it should prove serious? Could I endure life here without her
sweet companionship? Of what value was life without her? And as I
asked myself these questions I learned that Almah had become dearer
to me than life itself, and that in her was all the sunshine of my
existence. While she was absent, life was nothing; all its value, all
its light, its flavor, its beauty, were gone. I felt utterly crushed.
I forgot all else save her illness, and all that I had endured seemed
as nothing when compared with this.