Are Parents People? — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Are Parents People?
John Stuart Mill · en
She framed them as if two--almost three days were nothing. Lita, who
knew no more of the Einstein theory than the name, discovered that
time was relative; that Tuesday morning took what in old times she
would have considered several weeks in passing; and that each study
period--in the words of William James--lay down like a cow on the
doorstep and refused to get up and go on. The truth was that time had
never been time to Lita; it had been action. Now it was emptiness,
something to be filled; and yet she couldn't fill it; it was a
bottomless abyss. Worse still, she couldn't concentrate. She went to
the blackboard to do an original--a simple thing she would have tossed
off in a minute in old times--and couldn't think how to begin; she, the
best geometer in the class. This was serious, and it was queer. Lita
couldn't, as she said to Aurelia, get the hang of it. Time being her
problem--this sudden unexpected accumulation of time on her hands--she
might have been expected to spend it doing the practical, obvious
things that had to be done. Not at all. She was incapable of exertion.
She could not study; and even the letter to her father, saying the
Italian trip was impossible, was never written.
She had a letter from him Wednesday morning in which he assumed that
she had not been able to bring her mother to any conclusion. He said he
would call her up when she came to town on Friday. Perhaps she would
dine with him on Saturday, and do a play. Ordinarily this would have
seemed an agreeable prospect; but now, since it was farther away than
Thursday, it had no real existence.
Late Wednesday afternoon her unalterable decision not to discuss Doctor
Dacer with anyone broke down, and she told Aurelia the whole story.
It took an hour--their meeting, everything that he had said, done and
looked, and all that she had felt. She paid a great price, however,
for this enjoyment--and she did enjoy it--for afterward the whole
experience became more a narrative and less a vital memory.
Thursday morning was the worst of all. Thursday morning was simply
unbearable, until about noon, when she heard the whistle of the first
possible New York train. After that things went very well until about
five, when she had a moment to run over to see Aurelia and heard that
the doctor had not come--had decided not to come until the next day,
Friday.
As far as she was concerned, he might as well not have come at all. All
her joy in the anticipated meeting was dead; but this might possibly
have reawakened, except that on Friday she did not have a minute until
the three-o'clock train, which she was taking to New York. Of course,
she could develop a cold or some mysterious ailment which would keep
her at school over Sunday, even in the infirmary; but deceit was not
attractive to her; though, as she would have said herself, she was not
narrow-minded about it.