Are Parents People? — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Are Parents People?
John Stuart Mill · en
When her father had gone, her mother burst into tears.
"I am so sorry," she said, "that you should have seen him like that--at
his very worst."
Lita had just been thinking how much the better of the two he
had appeared. She felt as hard as a stone. She had no wish to be
continually appraising her parents; they left her no choice. Her
childish acceptance of them had been destroyed, and at the moment her
friendly emotion towards them as companions and human beings had not
yet flowered. Instead of wanting to tell her mother about Dacer, she
wanted to tell Dacer about her mother.
She saw that her whole scheme about Valentine had been ridiculous--a
complete failure. She ought to clear that up at once, but she did not
feel up to explaining it; an explanation with her mother involved
so much. Mrs. Hazlitt would give those she loved anything in the
world--except her attention. It was necessary to hold her attention
with one hand and feed her your confidence with the other. Lita was too
exhausted to attempt it that evening. She would do it the next day, of
course.
The next morning--Sunday--Mrs. Hazlitt awoke with a severe headache.
Though she insisted on Lita's remaining in sight--for fear that she
would rush to the arms of Valentine--it was made clear that no friendly
intercourse between parent and child was possible. Lita felt herself to
be the direct cause of the agony of mind which had led to the headache.
After luncheon, looking like carved marble, Mrs. Hazlitt got up and
announced her intention of escorting Lita back to school. The girl saw
that her mother was not well enough to make the double journey, and
suggested that it would be better for her father to go with her. Mrs.
Hazlitt treated this proposal with the coldest scorn.
"I think we will not trouble your father further," she said.
At times like this she used a flat, remote voice; as dead, Lita
thought, as a corpse talking on a disconnected telephone. In old times
it had nearly broken her heart when her mother spoke to her in that
tone. Today it had lost its power.
They drove to the station in silence, every jar of the car sending a
tremor through Mrs. Hazlitt's eyelids. In the train, she put Lita's
knitting bag behind her head and shut her eyes. Lita, sitting in
silence beside, felt so wooden--inside and out--that, she said to
herself, not even the appearance of Doctor Dacer would make any
difference to her. But when, before they were out of the tunnel, he did
pass through the car--not stopping, just raising his hat--she found it
did affect her.
Her mother opened her eyes.
"Who's that man?" she said in an almost human tone.
"I think he's one of the surgeons who is taking care of Aurelia," Lita
answered, and instantly regretted the "I think." It was positively
deceitful, where she had intended to be merely noncommittal. But all
the relations of her life seemed to have gone wrong.