When men in Congress come to blows at something someone said, I always notice that it shows their blood is quick and red; But if two women disagree, with very little noise, It proves, and this seems strange to me, that women have no poise. Advice to Heroines I A heroine must shrink and cling When heroes are about, And thus the watching world will think: "How brave his heart and stout!" But if he chance to be away When bright-faced dangers shine, It will be best for her to play The oak-tree, not the vine. In fact the most important thing Is knowing when it's time to cling. II _With apologies to R.L.S._ A heroine must be polite And do what others say is right, And think men wise and formidable-- At least as far as she is able. Mutual Vows "My dear," he said, "observe this frightful bill, Run up, I think you'll own, against my will. If you will recollect our wedding day You vowed on that occasion to obey." "I do recall the day," said she, "and how Me with your worldly goods you did endow." "That," he replied, "is palpably absurd----" "You mean you did not mean to keep your word?" "O, yes," he answered, "in a general way." "And that," said she, "is how I meant obey." If They Meant All They Said Charm is a woman's strongest arm; My charwoman is full of charm; I chose her, not for strength of arm But for her strange elusive charm. And how tears heighten woman's powers! My typist weeps for hours and hours: I took her for her weeping powers-- They so delight my business hours. A woman lives by intuition. Though my accountant shuns addition She has the rarest intuition. (And I myself can do addition.) Timidity in girls is nice. My cook is so afraid of mice. Now you'll admit it's very nice To feel your cook's afraid of mice. Democracy Democracy is this--to hold That all who wander down the pike In cart or car, on foot or bike, Or male or female, young or old, Are much alike--are much alike. Feminism "Mother, what is a Feminist?" "A Feminist, my daughter, Is any woman now who cares To think about her own affairs As men don't think she oughter." The Warning No, it isn't home neglecting If you spend your time selecting Seven blouses and a jacket and a hat; Or to give your day to paying Needless visits, or to playing Auction bridge. What critic could object to that? But to spend two precious hours At a lecture! Oh, my powers, The home is all a woman needs to learn. And an hour, or a quarter, Spent in voting! Why, my daughter, You could not find your home on your return. Evolution