Miss Haddie’s kindly desire gave her no relief. What did she mean but
the hopelessness of imagining that anybody could do anything about
anything. Nobody could ever understand what anyone else really wanted.
Only some people were fortunate. Miss Haddie was one of the fortunate
ones. She had her share in the school and many wealthy relatives and the
very best kind of good clothes and a good deal of strange old-fashioned
jewelry. And whatever happened there was money and her sisters and
relatives to look after her without feeling it a burden because of the
expense. And there she sat at the table looking at what she thought she
could see in another person’s life.
“If only one knew in the least what one _ought_ to do,” said Miriam
crossly.
Miss Haddie began speaking in a halting murmur, and Miriam rushed on
with flaming face. “I suppose I shall have to go on teaching all my
life, and I can’t think how on earth I’m going to do it. I don’t see how
I can work in the evenings, my eyes get so tired. If you don’t get
certificates there’s no prospect. And even if I did my throat is simply
agonies at the end of each morning.”
“Eh! my dear child! I’m sorry to hear that. Why have ye taken to that?
Is it something fresh?”
“Oh no, my throat always used to get tired. Mother’s is the same. We
can’t either of us talk for ten minutes without feeling it. It’s
perfectly awful.”
“But, my dear, oughtn’t ye to see someone--have some advice? I mean ye
ought to see a doctor.”
Miriam glanced at Miss Haddie’s concerned face and glanced away with a
flash of hatred. “Oh no. I s’pose I shall manage.”
“D’ye think yer wise--letting it go on?”
Miriam made no reply.
“Well now, my dear,” said Miss Haddie, getting down off the table, “I
think it’s time ye went to bed.”
“Phm,” said Miriam impatiently, “I suppose it is.”
Miss Haddie sat down again. “I wish I could help ye, my dear,” she said
gently.
“Oh, no one can do that,” said Miriam in a hard voice.
“Oh yes,” murmured Miss Haddie cheerfully, “there’s One who can.”
“Oh yes,” said Miriam, tugging a thread out of the fraying edge of the
table cover. “But it’s practically impossible to discover what on earth
they mean you to do.”
“N--aiche, my dear,” she said in an angry guttural, “ye’re always led.”
Miriam tugged at the thread and bit her lips.
“Why do ye suppose ye’ll go on teaching all yer life? Perhaps ye’ll
marry.”
“Oh no.”
“Ye can’t tell.”
“Oh, I never shall--in any case now.”
“Have ye quarrelled with him?”
“Oh, well, _him_,” said Miriam roundly, digging a pencil point between
the grainings of the table-cover. “It’s _they_, I think, goodness knows,
I don’t know; it’s so perfectly extraordinary.”
“You’re a very funny young lady.”
“Well, I shan’t marry _now_ anyhow.”
“Have ye refused somebody?”
“Oh well--there was someone--who went away--went to America--who was
coming back to see me when he came back----”
“Yes, my dear?”
“Well, you see, he’s handed in his checks.”