Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth
John Stuart Mill · en
In this state of self-punishment he persevered, till the distemper
unexpectedly took a sudden and happy turn, and the surgeon made known,
that his patient might possibly recover.
The joy of Sir Hugh was now as frantic as his grief had been the moment
before: he hastened to his drawing-room, commanded that the whole house
should be illuminated; promised a year's wages to all his servants; bid
his house-keeper distribute beef and broth throughout the village; and
sent directions that the bells of the three nearest parish churches
should be rung for a day and a night. But when Mr. Tyrold, to avert the
horror of any wholly unprepared disappointment, represented the still
precarious state of Eugenia, and the many changes yet to be feared; he
desperately reversed all his orders, returned sadly to his dark room,
and protested he would never more rejoice, till Mrs. Tyrold herself
should come to him with good news.
This anxiously waited æra at length arrived; Eugenia, though seamed and
even scarred by the horrible disorder, was declared out of danger; and
Mrs. Tyrold, burying her anguish at the alteration, in her joy for the
safety of her child, with an heart overflowing from pious gratitude,
became the messenger of peace; and, holding out her hand to Sir Hugh,
assured him the little Eugenia would soon be well.
Sir Hugh, in an ecstasy which no power could check, forgot every pain
and infirmity to hurry up to the apartment of the little girl, that he
might kneel, he said, at her feet, and there give thanks for her
recovery: but the moment he entered the room, and saw the dreadful havoc
grim disease had made on her face; not a trace of her beauty left, no
resemblance by which he could have known her; he shrunk back, wrung his
hands, called himself the most sinful of all created beings, and in the
deepest despondence, sunk into a chair and wept aloud.
Eugenia soon began to cry also, though unconscious for what cause; and
Mrs. Tyrold remonstrated to Sir Hugh upon the uselessness of such
transports, calmly beseeching him to retire and compose himself.
'Yes, sister,' he answered, 'yes, I'll go away, for I am sure, I do not
want to look at her again; but to think of its being all my doing!--O
brother! O sister! why don't you both kill me in return? And what amends
can I make her? what amends, except a poor little trifle of money?--And
as to that, she shall have it, God knows, every penny I am worth, the
moment I am gone; ay, that she shall, to a single shilling, if I die
tomorrow!'
Starting up with revived courage from this idea, he ventured again to
turn his head towards Eugenia, exclaiming: 'O, if she does but get well!
does but ease my poor conscience by making me out not to be a murderer,
a guinea for every pit in that poor face will I settle on her out of
hand; yes, before I so much as breathe again, for fear of dying in the
mean time!'