Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth
John Stuart Mill · en
Wretched in reflecting upon the shock and disappointment which the new
disposition of his affairs must occasion her, he had not fortitude to
inform her of his intention. He desired to speak with Edgar Mandlebert,
who, with all the Tyrold family, resided, for the present, at Cleves,
and abruptly related to him the new destination he had just vowed of his
wealth; beseeching that he would break it in the softest manner to his
poor little favourite, assuring her she would be always the first in his
love, though a point of mere conscience had forced him to make choice of
another heiress.
Edgar, whose zeal to serve and oblige had never been put to so severe a
test, hesitated how to obey this injunction; yet he would not refuse it,
as he found that all the servants of the house were enabled, if they
pleased, to anticipate more incautiously the ill news. He followed her,
therefore, into the garden, whither she had wandered to weep unobserved;
but he stopt short at sight of her distress, conceiving his errand to be
already known to her, and determined to consult with Indiana, to whom he
communicated his terrible embassy, entreating her to devise some
consolation for her poor cousin.
Indiana felt too much chagrined at her own part in this transaction, to
give her attention to Camilla; she murmured without scruple at the
deprivation of what she had once expected for herself, and at another
time for her brother; and expressed much resentment at the behaviour of
her uncle, mingled with something very near repining, not merely at his
late preference of Camilla, but even at the recovery of the little
Eugenia. Edgar heard her with surprise, and wondered to find how much
less her beauty attracted him from the failure of her good nature.
He now pursued the weeping Camilla, who, dispersing her tears at his
approach, pretended to be picking some lavender, and keeping her eyes
steadfastly upon the bush, asked him if he would have any? He took a
sprig, but spoke to her in a voice of such involuntary compassion, that
she soon lost her self-command, and the big drops again rolled fast down
her cheeks. Extremely concerned, he strove gently to sooth her; but the
expressions of regret at her uncle's avoidance, which then escaped her,
soon convinced him his own task was still to be performed. With anxious
fear of the consequences of a blow so unlooked for, he executed it with
all the speed, yet all the consideration in his power. Camilla, the
moment she understood him, passionately clasped her hands, and
exclaimed: 'O if that is all! If my uncle indeed loves me as well as
before all this; I am sure I can never, never be so wicked, as to envy
poor little Eugenia, who has suffered so much, and almost been dying,
because she will be richer than I shall be!'