Camille (La Dame aux Camilias) — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Camille (La Dame aux Camilias)
John Stuart Mill · en
Then, when God allows love to a courtesan, that love, which at first
seems like a pardon, becomes for her almost without penitence. When a
creature who has all her past to reproach herself with is taken all at
once by a profound, sincere, irresistible love, of which she had never
felt herself capable; when she has confessed her love, how absolutely
the man whom she loves dominates her! How strong he feels with his
cruel right to say: You do no more for love than you have done for
money. They know not what proof to give. A child, says the fable,
having often amused himself by crying “Help! a wolf!” in order to
disturb the labourers in the field, was one day devoured by a Wolf,
because those whom he had so often deceived no longer believed in his
cries for help. It is the same with these unhappy women when they love
seriously. They have lied so often that no one will believe them, and
in the midst of their remorse they are devoured by their love.
Hence those great devotions, those austere retreats from the world, of
which some of them have given an example.
But when the man who inspires this redeeming love is great enough in
soul to receive it without remembering the past, when he gives himself
up to it, when, in short, he loves as he is loved, this man drains at
one draught all earthly emotions, and after such a love his heart will
be closed to every other.
I did not make these reflections on the morning when I returned home.
They could but have been the presentiment of what was to happen to me,
and, despite my love for Marguerite, I did not foresee such
consequences. I make these reflections to-day. Now that all is
irrevocably ended, they arise naturally out of what has taken place.
But to return to the first day of my liaison. When I reached home I was
in a state of mad gaiety. As I thought of how the barriers which my
imagination had placed between Marguerite and myself had disappeared,
of how she was now mine; of the place I now had in her thoughts, of the
key to her room which I had in my pocket, and of my right to use this
key, I was satisfied with life, proud of myself, and I loved God
because he had let such things be.
One day a young man is passing in the street, he brushes against a
woman, looks at her, turns, goes on his way. He does not know the
woman, and she has pleasures, griefs, loves, in which he has no part.
He does not exist for her, and perhaps, if he spoke to her, she would
only laugh at him, as Marguerite had laughed at me. Weeks, months,
years pass, and all at once, when they have each followed their fate
along a different path, the logic of chance brings them face to face.
The woman becomes the man’s mistress and loves him. How? why? Their two
existences are henceforth one; they have scarcely begun to know one
another when it seems as if they had known one another always, and all
that had gone before is wiped out from the memory of the two lovers. It
is curious, one must admit.