He rose, bringing her to her feet, and stood before her ready to go or
stay as she should choose, heaping up before her with an air of gently
ironic challenge, the burden of responsibility; silently offering her
one of his borrowed summaries, some irrelevant and philosophic worldly
wisdom. But it was what he felt. There was something he feared. Alone,
he would not have initiated this scene. She faltered, driven back and
disarmed by the shock of an overwhelming pity ...... unexpected terrible
challenge from within, known to no one, to be accepted or flouted on her
sole eternal responsibility.... In a torture of acceptance she pressed
through it and returned remorseless to her place, flooded as she moved
by a sudden knowing of wealth within herself now being strangely
quarried.
The long moment was ending; into its void she saw the seemings of her
grown life pass and disappear. His solid motionless form, near and equal
in the twilight, grew faint, towered above her, immense and invisible in
a swift gathering swirling darkness bringing him nearer than sight or
touch. The edges of things along the margin of her sight stood for an
instant sharply clear and disappeared leaving her faced only with the
swirling darkness shot now with darting flame. She ceased to care what
thoughts might be occupying him, and exulted in the marvel. Here already
rewarding her insistence, was payment in royal coin. She was at last, in
person, on a known highway, as others, knowing truth alive. She stared
expostulation as she recognised the celebrated nature of her experience,
hearing her own familiar voice as on a journey, in amazed expostulation
at the absence everywhere of simple expression of the quality of the
state ..... a voyage, swift and transforming, a sense of passing in the
midst of this marvel of flame-lit darkness, out of the world in glad
solitary confidence with wildly, calmly beating morning heart.
The encircling darkness grew still, spread wide about her; the moving
flames drew together to a single glowing core. The sense of his presence
returned in might. The rosy-hearted core of flame was within him, within
the invisible substance of his breast. Tenderly transforming his
intangible expansion to the familiar image of the man who knew her
thoughts she moved to find him and marvel with him.
His voice budded gently, but with the same quality that had flung her
back solid and alone into the cold gloom.
“We must consider” ... what did he think had happened? He had kissed a
foreign woman. Who did he think was hearing him? .... “what you would do
under certain circumstances.” The last words came trembling, and he sat
down clearly visible in the restored blue twilight; waiting with willing
permanence for her words.
“I should do nothing at all, under any circumstances.”
“Do not forget that I am Jew.”