When he went away her life would be swept clear of intelligently
selected books and the sting of conflict with them .... that would not
matter; perhaps; books would come, somehow, in the unexpected way they
always did. But it was impossible to face the ending of these settled
tranquil elderly evenings of peaceful unity, the quiet dark-bearded
form, sitting near, happily engrossed......
“Well, what do you think of this?”
“I haven’t been attending. But I will read it .... some time.”
“Ah, it is a pity. But tell me your thoughts at least.”
“Oh, I was thinking of my sisters.”
“Ah. You must tell me,” and again with unrelaxed interest he was
listening to story after story, finding strange significances, matter
for envy and deep chuckles of appreciative laughter.
CHAPTER X
With a parting glance at Mr. Shatov’s talked-out indolent vacuity, she
plunged, still waiting in the attitude of conversation, into a
breathless silence. She would make no more talk. There should be silence
between them. If he broke it, well and good; in future she would take
measures to curtail the hours of conversation leading, now that she was
at home in possession of the Russian life and point of view, only to one
or other of his set of quoted opinions, beyond which he refused to move.
If not, the quality of their silence would reveal to her what lay behind
their unrelaxed capacity for association. The silence grew, making more
and more space about her, and still he did not speak. It was
dismantling; unendurable. With every moment they both grew smaller and
smaller, moving quickly towards the quenching of all their interchange.
But there was no doubt now. The question was there between them, for
equal contemplation. His easy indolence had fled; his usual pallor
heightened, and he sat regarding her with an unhesitating personal gaze.
Her determination closed about him, blocking his way, filling the room.
He _must_ emerge, admit. He must at least _see_, as she saw, if it were
only the extent of their dependence on each other. He knew his need.
Perhaps she fulfilled it less than she thought? Perhaps it was hers
alone ...... His multiplied resources made hers humiliatingly greater.
The shrine of her current consciousness stood before her; the roots of
her only visible future planted for ever within it. Losing it, she would
be left with her burden of being once more scattered and unhoused.