gulf of isolation opened before her. The struggle was not to be borne.
It was monstrous, unforgivable, that it should be demanded of her. Yet
it could not be given up. The smallest glance in the direction of even
the simulation of acceptance, brought a panic sense of treachery that
flung her back to cling once more to the vanishing securities of her own
untouched imagination.
When at last he appeared, the sight of the familiar distinctive little
figure plunging energetically along, beard first, through the north
London Sunday evening crowd drifting about the park gates, their sounds
quenched by the blare of the Salvation Army’s band marching townwards
along the battered road, for one strange moment while a moving light
came across the gravel pathway at her feet, decking its shabby fringe of
grass with the dewy freshness of some remembered world far away and
unknown to this trampling blind north London, she asked herself what all
the trouble was about. What after all had changed? Not herself, that was
clear. Walking in fevered darkness had not destroyed the light. But he
had joined her, pulling up before her with white ravaged face and hands
stretched silently towards her.
“For pity’s sake don’t touch me,” she cried involuntarily and walked on,
accompanied, examining her outcry. It was right. It had a secret
_knowledge_. They rode in silence on tram and bus. Below them on the
dimly-lit pavements people moved, shadows broken loose and scattered in
the grey of night. Gaslit, talking faces succeeded each other under the
street lamps; not one speaking its thoughts; no feeling expressed that
went even as deep as the screening chatter of words in the mind. But
presently all about her, as she sat poised for the length of the journey
between the dead stillness within her and the noise of the silence
without, a world most wonderful was dawning with strange irrelevance,
forcing her attention to lift itself from the abyss of her fatigue. Look
at us, the buildings seemed to say, sweeping by massed and various and
whole, spangled with light. We are here. We, are the accomplished
marvel. Buildings had always seemed marvellous; and in their moving,
changing aspects an endless fascination, except in North London, where
they huddled without distinction, defaced in feature and outline by a
featureless blind occupancy. But to-night, it was North London that was
revealing the marvel of the mere existence of a building. North
Londoners were not under the spell; but it was there. Their buildings
rising out of the earth where once there had been nothing, proclaimed it
as they swept dreaming by, making roadways that were like long thoughts,
meeting and crossing and going on and on, deep alleyways and little
courts where always was a pool of light or darkness, pouring down from
their secret communion with the sky a strange single reality upon the
clothed and trooping multitude below. And all the strange unnoticed