Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Deadlock : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 6
John Stuart Mill · en
marvel of buildings and clothes, the even more marvellously strange
unnoticed clothing of speech, all existing alone and independent outside
the small existence of single lives and yet proclaiming them ..... an
exclamation of wonder rose to her lips, and fell back checked, by the
remembered occasion, to which for an instant she returned as a stranger
seeing the two figures side by side chained in suspended explanations
that would not set them free, and left her gazing again, surrendered,
addressing herself with a deepening ease of heart to the endless
friendly strength flowing from things unconsciously brought about. It
brought a balm that lulled her almost to sleep, so that when at last
their journey was at an end she found herself wordless and adrift in a
tiresome pain, that must be removed only because it blotted out marvels.
He began at once, standing before her, relating in simple unbroken
speech the story of his student days, without pleading or extenuation;
waiting at the end for her judgment.
“And that first photograph that I liked, was before; and the other,
after.”
“That is so.”
“In the first there is someone looking out through the eyes; in the
other that someone has moved away.”
“That is so. I agree.”
“Well, can’t you see? Never to come back. Never to come back.”
“Miriam. Remember I am no more that man. I was in suffering and in
ignorance. It would have been better otherwise. I agree with you. But
that is all past. I am no more that man.”
“Can’t you see that there is no past?”
“I confess I do not understand this.”
“It is crowding all round you. I felt it. Don’t you remember? Before I
knew. It comes between us all the time. I know now. It’s not an idea; or
prudishness. It’s more solid than the space of air between us. I can’t
get through it.”