“Remember I was suffering and _alone_.” Somewhere within the vibrating
tones was the careless shouting of his boyhood; that past was there too;
and the eager lifting voice of his earlier student days, still sometimes
alive in the reverie of his lifted singing brows. The voice had been
quelled. In his memory as he stood there before her was pain, young
lonely pain. Within the life thrown open without reservation to her
gaze, she saw, confronting her determination to make him suffer, the
image of unhealed suffering, still there, half stifled by his blind
obedience to worldly ignorant advice, but waiting for the moment to step
forward and lay its burden upon her own unwilling heart, leaving him
healed and free. Tears sprang to her eyes, blotting him out, and with
them she sprang forth into a pathless darkness, conscious far away
behind her, soon to be obliterated on the unknown shores opening ahead,
but there gladly in hand, of a debt, signed and to be honoured even
against her will, by life, surprised once more at this darkest moment,
smiling at her secretly, behind all she could gather of opposing reason
and clamourous protests of unworthiness. “Poor boy” she gasped,
gathering him as he sank to his knees, with swift enveloping hands
against her breast. The unknown woman sat alone, with eyes wide open
towards the empty air above his hidden face. This was man; leaning upon
her with his burden of loneliness, at home and comforted. This was the
truth behind the image of woman supported by man. The strong companion
was a child seeking shelter; the woman’s share an awful loneliness. It
was not fair.
She moved to raise and restore him, at least to the semblance of a
supporting presence. But with a sudden movement he bent and caught a
fold of her dress to his lips. She rose with a cry of protest, urging
him to his feet.
“I know now,” he said simply, “why men kneel to women.” While in her
heart she thanked heaven for preserving her to that hour, the dreadful
words invested her in yet another loneliness. She seemed to stand tall
and alone, isolated for a moment from her solid surroundings, within a
spiral of unconsuming radiance.