“Happy?” she would breathe; “working like nigger boys?” Unless
Miriam looked gravely detached she would glide in blushing, and
passionately caress them. When this happened, sighs and groanings filled
the time that remained. Their nearest approach to open rebellion
included a tacit appeal to her as a fellow-sufferer to throw up the
stupid game. It was quite clear that they did not blame her for their
sufferings and they were so much prepared to do the decent thing that
her experiment of reading to them regularly at some convenient half-hour
each day from a book of adventures or fairy tale, not only reconciled
them to endure the morning’s ordeal, but filled them with a gratitude
that astonished her and the beginnings of a personal regard for her that
shook her heart. During the readings they would lose their air of
well-bred detachment and would come near. They would be relaxed and
silent; the girl with bent head and brooding defiant curiously smiling
and frowning face, the boy gazing at the reader, rapturous. She would
sometimes feel against each arm the pressure of a head.
She had felt instinctively and at once that she could not use their
lesson hours as opportunities for talking at large on general ideas as
she had done with the children in the Banbury Park school. Those
children, the children of tradesmen most of them, could be allowed to
take up the beginnings of ideas; “ideals,” the sense of modern reforms,
they could be allowed to discuss anything from any point of view and
take up attitudes and have opinions. The opportunity for discussion and
for encouraging a definite attitude towards life was much greater in
this quiet room with only the two children; but it would have been mean,
Miriam felt, to take advantage of this opportunity; to be anything but
strictly neutral and wary of generalisations. It would have been so
easy. Probably a really “conscientious” woman would have done it, have
“influenced” them, given the girl a bias in the direction of some life
of devotion, hospital nursing or slum missionary work, and have filled
the boy with ideas as to the essential superiority of “Radicals.” Their
minds were so soft and untouched.... It ended in a conspiracy, they all
sat masquerading, and finished their morning exhausted and relieved. The
children knew the lessons tortured her and made her ill at ease, and
they were puzzled without disapproving. Through it all she felt their
gratitude to her for not being “simple,” like Bunnikin.
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