Interim : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 5 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Interim : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 5
John Stuart Mill · en
She
paused a moment, looking boldly across at the figures moving on the
islands. After all they did not know that it was cold and desolate and
harsh and dreadful to be going about on Christmas Day in a place that
looked as this place looked, in trams. They did not know what was wrong
with their clothes and their bearing and their way of looking at things.
That was what was so terrible though. What could teach them? There were
so many. They lived and died in amongst each other. What could change
them?... Her face felt drawn and weariness was coming upon her
limbs ... a group was approaching her along the wide pavement, laughing
and talking, a blatter of animated voices; she turned briskly for the
relief of meeting and passing close to them ... too near, too near ...
prosperity and kindliness, prosperous fresh laughing faces, easily
bought clothes, the manner of the large noisy house and large secure
income, free movement in an accessible world, all turned to dangerous
weapons in wrong hands by the unfinished, insensitive mouths, the ugly
slur in the speech, the shapelessness of bearing, the naïvely visible
thoughts, circumscribed by business, the illustrated monthly magazines,
the summer month at the seaside; their lives were exactly like their way
of walking down the street, a confident blind trampling. Speech was not
needed to reveal their certainties; they shed certainty from every angle
of their unfinished persons. Certainty about everything. Incredulous
contempt for all uncertainty. Impatient contempt for all who could not
stand up for themselves. Cheerful uncritical affection for each other.
And for all who were living or trying to live just as they did ... The
little bushes of variegated laurel grouped in railed-off oblongs along
the gravelled pathway between the two wide strips of pavement, drew her
gaze. They shone crisply, their yellow and green enamel washed clean by
yesterday's rain. She hurried along feeling out towards them through
downcast eyes. They glinted back at her unsunned by the sunlight,
rootless sapless surfaces set in repellent clay, spread out in
meaningless air. To and fro her eyes slid upon the varnished leaves ...
she saw them in a park set in amongst massed dark evergreens, gleaming
out through afternoon mist, keeping the last of the light as the people
drifted away leaving the slopes and vistas clear ... grey avenues and
dewy slopes drifted before her in the faint light of dawn, the grey
growing pale and paler; the dew turned to a scatter of jewels and the
sky soared up high above the growing shimmer of sunlit green and gold.
Isolated morning figures hurried across the park, aware of its morning
freshness, seeing it as their own secret garden, part of their secret
day....