Interim : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 5 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Interim : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 5
John Stuart Mill · en
At ten o'clock the youngest girl was sent to bed. Miriam scornfully
watched herself miss her opportunity of getting away. She sat
fascinated, resenting the interruption; enviously filching the gay
outbreaking kindness that robbed the departure of humiliation and sent
the girl away counting on to-morrow. He went out of his way to make
_Polly Bailey_ happy ... and sat on by the dying fire unwearied,
freshly humming to himself towards the dingy hearth scattered thinly
with sparse dusty ash. Mrs. Bailey returned, raked together the remains
of the fire and settled herself in her chair with a shiver. In a moment
she would begin her questionings and the voice would sound again.--You
cold mother darling? Come nearer the fire--Mrs. Bailey pulled her chair
a few inches forward arching her neck and smiling her bright sweet
smile--Oogh, its parky upstairs--Miriam implored herself to go. Parky,
reiterated Mrs. Bailey uncertainly, glancing daintily from side to side
and smiling away a yawn behind her small rough reddened hand--Parky?
What is parky?--_Parky_, said Mrs. Bailey, _cold_; like a park--Ah, I
see. That is good. When I go upstairs I go to Hyde Park.... I shall have
in my bedroom a band and a mass meeting, and a policeman. Salvation Army
Band. Miriam sat stiffly through the laughter of the Baileys. Her
refusal to join brought the discomforting realisation of having laughed,
several times during the past hour. She had laughed in spite of herself,
flinging her laughter out across the hearthrug towards the dying fire,
leading the laughter of the Baileys, holding them off and herself apart.
Now suddenly by refusing to share their laughter when they led the way
she had openly separated herself from them. Then they knew she stayed on
under a charm. They had witnessed her theft from the wealth _they_ had
provided, her gratitude to him for the store of memories she had
gathered. It was the price. It stung and tried to humiliate her. She sat
steadily on, flouting it. The grouping would not recur. Why did not Mrs.
Bailey make him go on talking? A cold gloom spread sideways from the
polished arch of the grate, encroaching on the corner where he sat
drumming and humming. She drew her eyes with an air of absorption
towards the dying fire. Its aspect was unendurably bleak. Her mind
shrank from it, only to meet the sense of the cold darkness waiting
upstairs. Mrs. Bailey's voice bridged the emptiness. Some inner link was
restored. Somewhere in her voice was something that rang restoringly
round the world. The disconnected narrative was flowing again. The
chilly hearth glowed with a small dull brilliance.... The foreign voice
went on and on, narrative dialogue commentary running flowing leaping,
in the voice that rang whatever it said in bright sunshine. She listened
openly, apologising in swift affectionate glances for her stiff
middle-class resentment of his vulgar appearance. Was he vulgar? She
tried in vain to recall her first impression.