Joe Miller's Jests, or The Wits Vade-Mecum — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Joe Miller's Jests, or The Wits Vade-Mecum
John Stuart Mill · en
51. The same Gentleman as he had the Character of a great Punster,
was desired one Night in Company, by a Gentleman, to make a _Pun
extempore_, upon what Subject, said _Daniel_, the _King_, answered the
other, the _King_, Sir, said he, is no _Subject_.
52. _G----s E----l_ who, tho' he is very rich, is remarkable for
his sordid Covetousness, told _Cibber_ one Night, in the _Green
Room_, that he was going out of Town, and was sorry to part with him,
for faith _he loved him_, Ah! said _Colley_, I wish I was a Shilling
for your sake, why so, said the other, because then, cry'd the Laureat,
I should be sure _you loved me_.
53. Lord _C----by_ coming out of the House of Lords one Day, called
out, where's my _Fellow_! Not in _England_, by G--d, said a Gentleman,
who stood by.
54. A Beggar asking Alms under the Name of a poor Scholar, a Gentleman
to whom he apply'd himself, ask'd him a Question in _Latin_, the
Fellow, shaking his Head, said he did not understand him: Why, said the
Gentleman, did you not say you were a _poor Scholar_? _Yes_, reply'd
the other, _a poor one indeed, Sir, for I don't understand one Word of_
Latin.
55. Several Years ago when Mrs. _Rogers_ the Player, was young and
handsome, Lord _North_, and _Grey_, remarkable for his homely Face,
accosting her one Night behind the Scenes, ask'd her with a Sigh, what
was a _Cure for Love_? Your _Lordship_, said she, the best I know in
the World.
56. Colonel ----, who made the fine Fire-Works Works in St. _James's
Square_, upon the Peace of _Reswick_, being in Company with some
Ladies, was highly commending the Epitaph just then set up in the Abbey
on Mr. _Purcel's_ Monument,
He _is gone to that Place were only his own_ Harmony _can be
exceeded_.
Lord, Colonel, said one of the Ladies, the same Epitaph might serve for
you, by altering one Word only:
_He is gone to that Place, where only his own_ Fire-Works _can
be exceeded_.
57. Poor _Joe Miller_ happening one Day to be caught by some of his
Friends in a familiar Posture with a Cook Wench, almost as ugly as
_Kate Cl--ve_, was very much rallied by them for the Oddness of his
Fancy. Why look ye, said he, Gentleman, altho' I am not a very young
Fellow, I have a good Constitution, and am not, I thank Heaven, reduced
yet to _Beauty_ or _Brandy_ to whet my Appetite.