1085. One was telling the earl, how strangely he had escaped a shot, by the bar of a window. A musket bullet had hit full against the edge of an iron bar of a chamber-window, so that the bullet was split in two, one half flying by on one side and the other on the other. The earl hearing this, asked in what room it was, and was answered, in the cross-barred room; upon which he answered, You will now believe me, how safe it is to stand before the cross, when you face your enemy. 1086. Charles II. hearing a high character of a preacher in the country, attended one of his sermons. Expressing his dissatisfaction, one of the courtiers replied, that the preacher was applauded to the skies by the congregation. Ay! observed the king, I suppose his nonsense suits their nonsense. 1087. Some one once asked Bruce what musical instruments were used in Abyssinia. Bruce hesitated, not being prepared for the question; and at last said, I think I saw one lyre there. George Selwyn whispered the man sitting next him, Yes, and there is one less since he left the country. 1088. The attachment of some ladies to their lap-dogs amounts, in some instances, to infatuation. I have heard of a lap-dog biting a piece out of a male visitor’s leg: his mistress thus expressed her compassion, Poor dear little creature, I hope it will not make him sick. 1089. A Frenchman, a farmer of the duty upon salt, (farmed in France, as post horses are in England,) had built a most magnificent villa; displaying it to his friends, it was observed that a statue was wanting for a large niche in the vestibule. I mean to put there, said the owner, some allegorical statue relating to my business. You may put then Lot’s wife, who was changed to a statue of salt, answered one of his friends. 1090. A master of a ship called down into the hold, Who is there? Will, sir, was the answer. What are you doing? Nothing, sir. Is Tom there? Yes, answered Tom. What are you doing? Helping Will, sir. 1091. Two gentlemen coming into a tavern, one of them called for a bottle of claret: Why, do you love claret? said the other; for my part, I’ll see it burnt before I drink a drop. 1092. One whose name was Pippin, being dressed in a green suit, chanced to meet his friend, who, at his first salute, told him, It was a rare thing to see a green Pippin on Christmas day. 1093. A certain gentleman was mightily taken with a lady of the name of Wall, who was in the habit of painting a good deal. His friends tried to persuade him from going near her, saying, they wondered at a man of his taste setting his affections on a Painted Wall. 1094. Musicians ought to be compared to chameleons. Why? Because they live on airs. 1095. One said a good client was like a study gown, sits himself in the cold, and keeps his lawyer warm.