140. A drunken fellow carrying his wife’s bible to pawn for a quartern of gin, to an ale-house, the man of the house refused to take it. What, said the fellow, will neither my word nor the word of God pass with you? 141. A certain Justice of the Peace not far from Clerkenwell, in the first year of King George the First, when his clerk was reading a mittimus to him, coming to Anno Domini 1714, he cried out with some warmth, And why not Georgio Domini? sure, you forget yourself strangely. 142. A certain nobleman, a courtier, in the beginning of the late reign, coming out of the House of Lords, accosted the Duke of Buckingham, with, How does your pot boil, my lord, these troublesome times? To which his grace replied, I never go into my kitchen, but I dare say the scum is uppermost. 143. The Lord North and Grey being once at an assembly at the Theatre Royal in the Haymarket, was pleased to tell Mr. Heidigger, he would make him a present of 100_l._, if he could produce an uglier face in the whole kingdom, than his, the said Heidigger’s, within a year and a day. Mr. Heidigger went instantly and fetched a looking-glass, and presented it to his lordship, saying, He did not doubt but that his lordship had honour enough to keep his promise. 144. A person who had an unmeasurable stomach, coming to a cook-shop to dine, said, it was not his way to have his meat cut, but to pay 8_d._ for his ordinary; which the cook seemed to think reasonable enough, and so set a shoulder of mutton before him of a half-crown price, to cut where he pleased; with which he so played the cormorant, that he devoured all but the bone, paid his ordinary and trooped off. The next time he came, the cook casting a sheep’s-eye at him, desired him to agree for his victual, for he’d have no more ordinaries. Why? says he, I am sure I paid you an ordinary price. 145. The extravagant Duke of Buckingham (Villiers) once said in a melancholy humour, he was afraid he should die a beggar, which was the most terrible thing in the world; upon which a friend of his grace replied, No, my lord, there is a more terrible thing than that, and which you have reason to fear, and that is, that you will live a beggar. 146. The same noble Duke, another time, was making his complaint to Sir John Cutler, a rich miser, of the disorder of his affairs, and asked him what he should do to prevent the ruin of his estate? Live as I do, my lord, said Sir John. That I can do, answered the duke, when I am ruined. 147. At another time a person who had long been a dependant on His Grace, begged his interest for him at court; and to press the thing more home upon the duke, said, he had nobody to depend upon but God and His Grace. Then, said the duke, you are in a miserable way; for you could not have pitched upon any two persons who have less interest at court.