158. Two Jesuits having packed together an innumerable parcel of miraculous lies, a person who heard them, without taking upon him to contradict them, told them one of his own: That at St. Alban’s there was a stone cistern, in which water was always preserved for the use of that saint, and that ever since, if a swine should drink out of it, he would instantly die. The Jesuits, hugging themselves at the story, set out the next day to St. Alban’s, where they found themselves miserably deceived. On their return, they upbraided the person with telling them so monstrous a story. Look you there now, said he, you told me a hundred lies t’other night, and I had more breeding than to contradict you: I told you but one, and you have rid twenty miles to confute me, which is very uncivil. 159. A Welchman and an Englishman vapouring one day at the fruitfulness of their countries, the Englishman said, there was a close near the town where he was born, which was so very fertile, that if a kiboo was thrown in overnight, it would be so covered with grass that it should be difficult to find it the next day. Splut, said the Welchman, what’s that? There’s a close where hur was born, where you may put your horse in overnight, and not be able to find him next morning. 160. A country fellow in Charles the Second’s time, selling his load of hay in the Haymarket, two gentlemen who came out of the Blue Posts, were talking of affairs; one said, that things did not go right, the king had been at the house and prorogued the parliament. The countryman coming home, was asked, What news in London? Odd’s heart, said he, there’s something to do there, the king has, it seems, berogued the parliament sadly. 161. A wild young gentleman having married a very discreet, virtuous young lady, the better to reclaim him, she caused it to be given out at his return that she was dead, and had been buried. In the meantime, she had so placed herself in disguise, as to be able to observe how he took the news; and finding him still the gay, inconstant man he always had been, she appeared to him as the ghost of herself, at which he seemed not at all dismayed; at length, disclosing herself to him, he then appeared pretty much surprised; a person by said, Why, sir, you seem more afraid now than before! Ay, replied he, most men are more afraid of a living wife than of a dead one. 162. An under officer of the Customs at the port of Liverpool, running heedlessly along the ship’s gunnel, happened to tip overboard, and was drowned; being soon after taken up, the coroner’s jury was summoned to sit upon the body. One of the jurymen returning home, was called to by an alderman of the town, and asked, what verdict they brought in, and whether they found it _felo de se_? Ay, ay, says the juryman, shaking his noddle, he fell into the sea, sure enough.