242. A Scotch bagpiper travelling in Ireland, opened his wallet by a wood side, and sat down to dinner; no sooner had he said grace, but three wolves came about him. To one he threw bread, to another meat, till his provender was all gone―At length he took up his bagpipes, and began to play, at which the wolves ran away. The deel faw me, said Sawney, an I had kenned you loved music so, you should have had it before dinner. 243. Metullus Nepos, asking Cicero, the Roman orator, in a scoffing manner, Who was his father? Cicero replied, Thy mother has made that question harder for thee to answer. 244. The archduke of Austria having been forced to raise the siege of a town called Grave, in Holland, and to retreat privately in the night; Queen Elizabeth said to his secretary here,―What, your master is risen from the grave without sound of trumpet. 245. Soon after the death of a great officer, who was judged to have been no great advancer of the king’s affairs, the king said to his solicitor Bacon, who was kinsman to that lord: Now, Bacon, tell me truly, what say you of your cousin? Mr. Bacon answered, Since your Majesty charges me to speak, I will deal plainly with you, and give you such a character of him, as though I was to write his history. I do think he was no fit counsellor to have made your affairs better, yet he was fit to have kept them from growing worse. On my soul, quoth the king, in the first thou speakest like a true man; and in the latter like a kinsman. 246. The same king in one of his progresses asked, How far it was to such a town? They told him six miles and a half. He alighted out of his coach, and went under the shoulder of one of the led horses. When some asked his majesty what he meant? I must stalk, says he, for yonder town is shy, and flies me. 247. Lawyers and chambermaids, said a wicked young fellow, are like Balaam’s ass, they never speak unless they see an angel. 248. One being at his wife’s funeral, and the bearers going pretty quick along, he cried out to them, Don’t go so fast, what need we make a toil of pleasure? 249. A country ’squire being in company with his mistress, and wanting his servant, cried out, Where is the blockhead? Upon your shoulders, said the lady. 250. A philosopher being asked, why learned men frequented rich men’s houses, but rich men seldom visited the learned, answered, That the first know what they want, but the latter do not. 251. Among the articles exhibited to King Henry by the Irish, against the Earl of Kildare, the last concluded thus:―And finally all Ireland cannot rule the earl. Then said the king, The earl shall rule all Ireland: and so made him deputy. 252. Plutarch used to say that men of small capacities put into great places, like statues set upon great pillars, are made to appear the less by their advancement.