9. Gun Jones, who had made his fortune himself, from a mean beginning, happening to have some words with a person who had known him some time, was asked by the other, how he could have the impudence to give himself so many airs, when he knew very well, that he remembered him seven years before with hardly a rag to his back. You lie, sirrah, replied Jones, seven years ago I had nothing but rags to my back. 10. Lord R― having lost fifty pistoles one night at the gaming-table in Dublin, some friends condoling with him upon his ill luck: Faith, said he, I am very well pleased at what I have done; for I have bit them, there is not one pistole that don’t want six-pence of weight. 11. A gentleman saying something in praise of Mrs. C―m, who is, without dispute, a good player, though exceeding saucy and exceeding ugly; another said, her face always put him in mind of Mary-bone Park; being desired to explain himself, he said, It was vastly rude, and had not one bit of pale about it. 12. A pragmatical young fellow, sitting at table over against the learned John Scott, asked him, What difference there was between Scott and Sot? Just the breadth of the table, answered the other. 13. Another poet asked Nat Lee, if it was not easy to write like a madman, as he did? No, answered Nat; but it is easy to write like a fool, as you do. 14. Colley, who, notwithstanding his odes, has now and then said a good thing, being told one night by the late Duke of Wharton, that he expected to see him hanged or beggared very soon: If I had your grace’s politics and morals, said the laureat, you might expect both. 15. Sir Thomas More for a long time had only daughters, his wife earnestly praying that they might have a boy; at last they had a boy, who, when he came to man’s estate, proved but simple: Thou prayedst so long for a boy, said Sir Thomas to his wife, that at last thou hast got one who will be a boy as long as he lives. 16. The same gentleman, when Lord Chancellor, being pressed by the counsel of the party, for a longer day to perform a decree, said, Take St. Barnaby’s Day, the longest in the year, which happened to be next week. 17. This famous Chancellor, who preserved his humour and wit to the last moment, when he came to be executed on Tower Hill, the headsman demanded his upper garment as his fee; Ah! friend, said he, taking off his cap, that, I think, is my upper garment. 18. When Rabelais, the greatest droll in France, lay on his death-bed, he could not help jesting at the very last moment; for, having received the extreme unction, a friend coming to see him, said, he hoped he was prepared for the next world: Yes, yes, replied Rabelais, I am ready for my journey now; they have just greased my boots. 19. Henry the Fourth of France, reading an ostentatious inscription on the monument of a Spanish officer, “Here lies the body of Don &c. &c., who never knew what fear was.” Then, said the king, he never snuffed a candle with his fingers.