283. Count Gondomar, the Spanish ambassador here, in Queen Elizabeth’s time, sent a compliment to the Lord St. Albans, whom he lived on no good terms with, wishing him a merry Easter. My lord thanked the messenger, and said, he could not requite the count better than by wishing him a good Pass-over. 284. A certain philosopher, when he saw men in a hurry to finish any matter, used to say, Stay a little, that we may make an end the sooner. 285. Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say of a passionate man, who suppressed his anger, That he thought worse than he spoke; and of an angry man, that would vent his passion in words, That he spoke worse than he thought. 286. The same gentleman used to say, that power in an ill man was like the power of a witch―he could do harm, but no good; as the magicians, said he, could turn water into blood, but could not turn blood into water again. 287. He was likewise wont to commend much the advice of a plain old man at Buxton, who sold brooms. A proud lazy young fellow came to him for a besom upon trust, to whom the old man said, Friend, hast thou no money? Borrow of thy back and of thy belly, they’ll never ask thee for’t; I shall be dunning thee every day. 288. When recruits were raising for the late wars, a serjeant told his captain that he had got him a very extraordinary man: Ay, says the captain, prithee what’s he? A butcher, sir, replied the serjeant, and your honour will have double service of him, for we had two sheep-stealers in the company before. 289. A harmless country fellow having commenced a suit against a gentleman that had beat down his fences, and spoiled his corn; when the assizes grew near, his adversary bribed his only evidence to keep out of the way: Well, says the fellow, I’m resolved I’ll up to town, and the king shall know it. The king know it! said his landlord, who was an attorney, prithee what good will that do you, if the man keeps out of the way? Why, sir, said the poor fellow, I have heard you say, the king could make a man a-peer at any time. 290. One speaking of an agreeable young fellow, said, He had wit enough to call his good nature in question, and yet good nature enough to make his wit suspected. 291. A person seeing a tolerably pretty fellow, who, by the help of a tailor and sempstress had transformed himself into a beau, said, What pity it is to see one, whom nature has made no fool, so industrious to pass for an ass. Rather, said another, one should pity those whom nature abuses than those who abuse nature; besides, the town would be robbed of one-half of its diversion, if it should become a crime to laugh at a fool. 292. At the masquerade in the Hay-Market, one appearing in the habit of a bishop, another, for the jest’s sake, bowed his knee to ask a blessing. The former laying his hand on his head, very demurely said, Prithee rise, there’s nothing in’t indeed, friend.