Joe Miller's Jests, with Copious Additions — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Joe Miller's Jests, with Copious Additions
John Stuart Mill · en
356. A living of 500_l._ per annum, falling in the gift of the late Lord
Chancellor Talbot, Sir Robert Walpole recommended one of his friends as
very deserving of the benefice, whom his lordship approved of. In the
interim, the curate, who had served the last incumbent many years for a
poor 30_l._ per annum, came up with a petition, signed by many of the
inhabitants, testifying his good behaviour, setting forth that he had a
wife and seven children to maintain, and begging his lordship would
stand his friend, that he might be continued in his curacy; and, in
consideration of his large family, if he could prevail with the next
incumbent to add 10_l._ a year, he should for ever pray for him. His
lordship, according to his usual goodness, promised to use his utmost
endeavours to serve him; and the reverend gentleman, for whom the living
was designed, coming soon after to pay his respects, my lord told him
the affair of the curate, with this difference only, that he should
allow him 60_l._ a year instead of 30_l._ The clergyman in some
confusion, replied, He was sorry that he could not grant his request,
for that he had promised the curacy to another, and could not go from
his word. How! said the nobleman, have you promised the curacy before
you were possessed of the living? Well, to keep your word with your
friend, if you please, I’ll give him the curacy, but the living, I
assure you, I’ll give to another: and saying this he left him. The next
day the poor curate coming to know his destiny, my lord told him, That
he had used his endeavours to serve him as to the curacy, but with no
success, the reverend gentleman having disposed of it before. The
curate, with a deep sigh, returned his lordship thanks for his goodness,
and was going to withdraw, when my lord calling him back, said with a
smile, Well, my friend, ’tis true, I have it not in my power to give you
the curacy; but if you will accept of the living ’tis at your service.
357. The same noble lord, when he was under the tuition of the Reverend
―, who used to call him his little chancellor, one day replied, that
when he was so he would give him a good living. One happening to become
vacant soon after he was chancellor, he recollected his promise, and
ordered the presentation to be filled up for his old master, who soon
after came to his lordship to remind him of his promise, and to ask him
for the living. Why, really, said my lord, I wish you had come a day
sooner, but I have given it away already, and when you see to whom, I
dare say you will not think me to blame.