Letters from My Windmill — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Letters from My Windmill
John Stuart Mill · en
Jan was an admirable countryman of twenty, as well-behaved as a girl,
well-built and open-hearted. He was very handsome and so caught the eye
of lots of women, but he had eyes for only one--a petite girl from
Arles, velvet and lace vision, whom he had once met in the town's main
square. This wasn't well received at first in the farm. The girl was
known as a flirt, and her parents weren't local people. But Jan wanted
her, whatever the cost. He said:
--I will die if I don't have her. And so, it just had to be. The
marriage was duly arranged to take place after the harvest.
One Sunday evening, the family were just finishing dinner in the
courtyard. It was almost a wedding feast. The fiancée was not there,
but her health and well-being were toasted throughout the meal.... A
man appeared unexpectedly at the door, and stuttered a request to speak
to Estève, the master of the house, alone. Estève got up and went out
onto the road.
--Monsieur, the man said, you are about to marry your boy off to a
woman who is a bitch, and has been my mistress for two years. I have
proof of what I say; here are some of her letters!... Her parents know
all about it and have promised her to me, but since your son took an
interest in her, neither she nor they want anything to do with me....
And yet I would have thought that after what has happened, she couldn't
in all conscience marry anyone else.
--I see, said Master Estève after scanning the letters; come in; have a
glass of Muscat.
The man replied:
--Thanks, but I am too upset for company.
And he went away.
The father went back in, seemingly unaffected, and retook his place at
the table where the meal was rounded off quite amiably.
That evening, Master Estève went out into the fields with his son. They
stayed outside some time, and when they did return the mother was
waiting up for them.
--Wife, said the farmer bringing their son to her, hug him, he's very
unhappy....
* * * * *
Jan didn't mention the Arlesienne ever again. He still loved her
though, only more so, now he knew that she was in the arms of someone
else. The trouble was that he was too proud to say so, and that's what
killed the poor boy. Sometimes, he would spend entire days alone,
huddled in a corner, motionless. At other times, angry, he would set
himself to work on the farm, and, on his own, get through the work of
ten men. When evening came, he would set out for Arles, and walk
expectantly until he saw the town's few steeples appearing in the
sunset. Then he turned round and went home. He never went any closer
than that.
The people in the farm didn't know what to do, seeing him always sad
and lonely. They feared the worst. Once, during a meal, his mother, her
eyes welling with tears, said to him:
--Alright, listen Jan, if you really want her, we will let you take
her....
The father, blushing with shame, lowered his head....
Jan shook his head and left....