Little sweetheart : $b or, Norman De Vere's protegee — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Little sweetheart : $b or, Norman De Vere's protegee
John Stuart Mill · en
“It was to win this sweet confession that I stayed behind. I know that
in your heart you love me well, but when I am with you constantly you
madden me with your caprices and humors, your unfounded jealousies
and wounding suspicions. Why, you never give me a loving word or an
involuntary caress, and you degrade yourself and me with such cruel
charges as I can scarcely endure. But when I am away from you, you
judge me more kindly, perhaps, and so I find an intoxicating welcome
awaiting me. It was no business that detained me, my darling. Maddened
by your coldness and distain, I remained away from you, hoping you
would think more kindly of me and meet me with just this charming
welcome,” drawing her again into his arms and kissing the curved red
lips with eager passion.
She returned his kisses ardently, murmuring the while:
“You were cruel--I love you so--I can not bear you out of my sight! I
will not bear it--your taming me by so cruel an absence--as if I were a
real shrew!”
“I will never do so again--that is--if you will always be like this,”
he answered, feasting his eager eyes on the rare beauty of the
face that lay against his breast, his tone almost pleading in its
earnestness.
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes with a shadowed gaze.
“How can I promise you?” she asked, half resentfully, half sadly.
“You do not make due allowance for me, Norman; yet you know well the
miserable doubt of your love that turns me sometimes into a fury. How
can I be quite, quite sure of your heart, remembering, as I do every
hour of my life, that I am quite thirteen years older than you, and
that the royal dower my father gave me might have tempted many a man to
forget that disparity.”
There was sudden, swift anguish in his face and voice, bitter pain and
humiliation in the tone with which he cried:
“Oh, my love, that old complaint again--and so soon, so cruelly soon!
You do injustice to yourself and your own charms. It was yourself that
won me, not your splendid dowry. For those few years between us, bah! I
never remember them unless you remind me. If I had been Cophetua and
you the beggar maid, I should have implored you to share my throne.”
“But you were only a boy when you married me--barely twenty. By and by
your fancy will change--you will repent.”
“Hush! you will be in hysterics presently,” he said, warningly. “Come
with me, darling. You will forget these morbid fancies when you see the
sweet little pet I have brought you.”
He drew her into a small anteroom adjoining, and she saw on a velvet
sofa, fast asleep, a golden-haired little fairy.
“It is a little child I rescued from the wrecked train,” he said. “I
brought her home with me until I could find her friends.”
To his amazement, her thin red lips began to curl into the cruelest
sneer.