And later, when I was requested to subscribe to the Articles of Belief, I found I could not accept them, particularly a certain part, which related to the day of judgment and what would follow thereafter. I have reviewed this document, and am able to quote the exact words which were a stumbling-block to me. “We believe ... that at the day of judgment the state of all will be unalterably fixed, and that the punishment of the wicked and the happiness of the righteous will be endless.” When the service was over, I went home, feeling as if I had done something wrong. I thought of my mother, whom my church people called an “unbeliever;” of my dear little brother who had been drowned, and whose soul might be LOST, and I was most unhappy. In fact, so serious was I for many days, that no doubt my church friends thought me a most promising young convert. Indeed I was converted, but not in the way they supposed; for I had begun to think on religious subjects, and the more I thought the less I believed in the doctrines of the church to which I belonged. Doubts of the goodness of God filled my mind, and unbelief in the Father’s love and compassion darkened my young life. What a conversion! The beginning of long years of doubt and of struggle in search of spiritual truths. After a time I went no more to my church meetings, and began to attend those of the Universalists; but, though strongly urged, as a “come-outer,” to join that body, I did not do so, being fearful of subscribing to a belief whose mysteries I could neither understand nor explain. Hearing that I was attending the meetings of another denomination, my church appointed three persons, at least one of whom was a deacon, to labor with me. They came to our house one evening, and, while my mother and I sat at our sewing, they plied me with questions relating to my duty as a church member, and arguments concerning the articles of belief; these I did not know how to answer, but my mother, who had had some experience in “religious” disputes, gave text for text, and I remember that, although I trembled at her boldness, I thought she had the best of it. Meanwhile, I sat silent, with downcast eyes, and when they threatened me with excommunication if I did not go to the church meetings, and “fulfil my covenant,” I mustered up courage to say, with shaking voice, “I do not believe; I cannot go to your church, even if you do excommunicate me.”