Loved you better than you knew — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Loved you better than you knew
John Stuart Mill · en
She was wondrously beautiful this morning, even in the plain dark gown
that simply served as a foil to her fairness. Everard Dawn could not
help from seeing it, and saying to himself:
“What peerless beauty! No wonder Arthur Varian lost his head!”
He felt like groaning aloud, his sudden home-coming had precipitated
him into such a tragic plight, for the task that lay before him was
most bitter.
He could not help from seeing the pride and resentment in her eyes, and
something moved him to say, apologetically:
“I dare say you have been vexed with me for staying away so long,
Cinthia; but I have been working for you, trying to lay aside a little
pile, so that you could enjoy your young ladyhood. You shall have
pretty gowns and pleasures henceforth. Are you not glad?”
It cost him effort to say so much, but there was no gratitude in his
daughter’s proud face, only a mutinous flash of the great dark eyes as
she answered:
“I shall not need your belated kindness now.”
“What do you mean?” impatiently.
“Haven’t you told him, Aunt Beck, about--about--Arthur?” blushing
vividly.
“Yes--yes, dear.”
Cinthia nodded her head at him with a mixture of childish triumph and
womanliness.
“You see,” she said, proudly, “I am going to be married soon. I shall
have a husband who will give me all I want--even,” bitterly, “the love
I have missed all my life!” tears sparkling into her eyes under the
curling lashes.
He felt the keen reproach deeply, and exclaimed, gently and sadly:
“Poor little Cinthia.”
“Not poor now,” she answered, quickly. “It is _rich_ Cinthia now--rich
in Arthur’s love and the certainty of a happy future.”
She meant to be scathing, poor, neglected, wounded Cinthia, but she
could never guess how the words cut into his heart and tortured him
with secret agony--he who meant to lay her love and hopes in ruins, to
blight all the joys of her life by the exercise of a father’s privilege
of breaking her will.
But no shadow crossed his face, no trouble was apparent in his manner
as he laughed easily, and answered:
“Nonsense! you are scarcely more than a child yet--too young to be
dreaming of marriage. I shall send you to school to complete your
education before you can begin to think of lovers.”
“I will not go!” she said rebelliously, with startled eyes upon his
inscrutable face.
“Cinthy!” reproved her aunt.
“I will _not_ go!” the girl repeated, defiantly. “I shall marry Arthur,
as I promised, before Christmas!”
She sprung from her seat and rushed to the window, drumming
tempestuously upon the pane, her habit when greatly excited.
Outside the prospect was dreary. The _débris_ of yesterday’s storm
littered the ground, the limbs of some of the trees hung broken, the
sun was hidden under clouds that hinted at snow.
Mrs. Flint whispered to her brother, apprehensively:
“I told you so. She has a rebellious will, and she thinks you have no
authority over her now, because you stayed away so long.”