Loved you better than you knew — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Loved you better than you knew
John Stuart Mill · en
“Yes, I am very grateful for it. Now I can seek constant diversion to
drown memory,” she answered, with a long-drawn sigh that showed him she
would not forget so easily as he had hoped.
It did not occur to her to ask the name of the relative who had left
her so handsome a legacy, or to notice that her father had not spoken
of any one’s death. In her eagerness she accepted her good fortune
without curiosity, and clasping her little hands in growing excitement,
cried:
“Papa, I have always wished to cross the sea. Will you take me?”
“Yes, Cinthia; but should you not see something of your own land
first?”
“That can wait, papa. My first wish is to put the whole breadth of the
world between me and Arthur Varian.”
“Perhaps that will be best,” he assented; for her words touched an
aching chord in his own heart.
Who could know better the aching pangs of love and loss than Everard
Dawn, who had tasted both to the bitter dregs?
And how could he blame any one for the mad instinct of flight from
memory when he had been a restless exile weary years for no better
reason?
“And I have wandered far away to quell my spirit’s wild unrest,
From place to place a lonely one,
And rocked on ocean’s heaving breast.
“But in the sound of winds and waves
For evermore I heard thy tone,
Gazed down the mountain’s verdant slope,
And thought of thee, and thee alone.
“The eyes whose sparkling light I loved
Shone on me from the midnight stars,
The crimson of the lips once kissed
Glowed in the sunset’s rosy bars.”
The curtain fell to the crash of orchestra music and the crowded
building began to be emptied and the lights turned low.
Both rose, and Cinthia’s father said, abruptly:
“Shall we return to the hotel? Or would you like to go on to New York
to-night to get ready for sailing on the first steamer?”
“We will go to New York to-night, but first let me go and say farewell
to my dear friend Madame Ray,” she said, hurrying to the greenroom.
Everard Dawn went out and sent a note to Mrs. Varian, while he waited
for his daughter.
It ran simply:
“I found Cinthia at the theater, and we go on at once to New York, to
sail this week for Europe, by her earnestly expressed wish. In change
of scene and the rush of excitement she will seek oblivion of this
painful episode in her life.
“E. D.”
Presently Cinthia came to him from Madame Ray’s dressing-room, where
she had spent a long half hour, and her father saw that the dew of
tears hung heavily on the thick fringe of her dark lashes. Wondering
greatly at this mysterious friendship, he drew her hand through his arm
and led her away to the new life that lay before her in the untried
future.
CHAPTER XXI. A QUARREL WITH FATE.
Mrs. Flint would have been very lonely after her brother’s departure,
but for the fact that she had her hands and her mind both full with
helping the nurse to care for the poor wayfarer so strangely thrown on
her hands.