Meleager : $b A fantasy — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Meleager : $b A fantasy
John Stuart Mill · en
Hereafter owned no longer any concern with myself, the amphibian of
two worlds, who had evaded his manifest duties alike on Earth and in
Meleager. I remembered with a shudder Fajal's solemn warning as to the
dire effects of that youth-bestowing and yet death-dealing fountain
wherein I had so often been immersed. Was it really so? Had I in my
flight from my kingdom lost that priceless yet elusive endowment, the
soul? A faint gleam of hope in the midst of my terror shot suddenly
into the mirk of my anguish, when I recalled Anzoni's farewell greeting
to myself and his expressed desire for a mutual meeting in the halls of
the Hereafter. Ah, but then Anzoni had assumed I was going to meet my
fate like a hero, and had no intention of slinking back to Earth!
Thus, despite this vague consoling thought, this clutching at a fescue
in the whirlpool of my despair, I became obsessed with a fierce longing
and determination at all costs to cheat death and to cling to every
chance that is vital and physical. Fajal's mission had triumphed. I
grew frenzied at the fearful prospect adumbrated for me on this glassy
screen; I was frantic to quit the Earth, and equally frantic to stake
anything and everything on a second translation to Meleager. I tried
to dash the mirror from my hands, only to discover that, like Medea's
poisoned coronet, the accursed thing clung to the flesh of my palms
and fingers, and refused to be shaken off. In my madness of terror I
screamed aloud, and with the glass still adhering like burning wax to
my skin I dashed myself against the wall repeatedly till I shattered
to atoms the devilish instrument of torture in my ravings.
* * * * *
I can call to mind nothing further until I returned to sufficient
consciousness again to see Dr Wayne's anxious and expectant face
bent over me, as I lay prone on the boards surrounded by a mass of
glittering fragments and splinters. My hands were cut and bleeding,
but already the kind Doctor was tending them with some soothing
antiseptic, and the pain was endurable. I allowed myself to be enticed
to bed, where I passed the remainder of the day recovering from the
double shock of mind and body I had so lately sustained. As usual, Dr
Wayne spoke very little, and though his honest face betrayed his keen
curiosity over my latest adventure, he asked no questions, and indeed
scarcely ventured any comment, except the remark that there was a most
peculiar scent of violets in the room, which was odd, seeing it was
mid-October.
Violets!
XI