Millions from Waste — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Millions from Waste
John Stuart Mill · en
There was one camp, composed of men drawn from units scattered all over
the country, undergoing musketry training. The men became affected with
the “save your bones” craze to an acute degree. As a result of his
periodical investigation the commanding officer suddenly discovered
that he was getting all the fat he wanted. But the bones! That was a
different story: the yield was by no means what it should have been.
The startling discrepancy prompted inquiry, and the officer found
that the soldiers were more fully alive to the real significance of
the swill-tub than he had imagined. But they were more loyal to their
own units than to the musketry camp to which their attachment was
only temporary. They were waging a quiet campaign among themselves,
collecting all the bones upon which they could place their hands,
and determined that their colleagues should derive all the benefits
accruing from the sale of this waste were posting their bone-hauls back
to their own units!
Another instance of similar zeal was even more humorous. A certain
Imperial unit was camped next door to some troops from Overseas. The
“save-your-fat-and-bones” scheme was carefully explained to the latter,
but having come from a land where meat was plentiful they failed to see
the object of being so vigilant and miserly in regard to the residue
in question. The authorities, realizing the situation, refrained from
further pursuit of their proposal, being content to allow what they had
already expressed to sink into the minds of the soldiers, confident
that, upon reflection, the Overseas unit would appreciate the wisdom of
the official recommendation.
The expected happened. The men from Yonder Britain in the end did
conclude that there was something in this waste-saving stunt, and
that they might profit from following the general practice. They
commenced to indulge in bone-collecting and hoarding with rare gusto.
No school-boy ever collected postage-stamps more keenly than did those
fighting men from Farther Britain save bones and fat.
This outburst of zealous economy delighted the authorities. They
saw the yields from the camp of the Overseas fighting men rising by
leaps and bounds. But there was a decrease in the bone-yield from the
Home unit next door! The supply officer, feeling that something must
be amiss, and that possibly the Overseas troops were receiving an
inordinate quantity of bone in the issue to stimulate collecting, dived
into the mystery. It did not prove to be a very baffling quest. The
Overseas unit was able to show a high yield of bones because it was
indulging in surreptitious nocturnal raids, at opportune moments, upon
the bone-stocks of its neighbours!