New York: Its Upper Ten and Lower Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
New York: Its Upper Ten and Lower Million
John Stuart Mill · en
He left, and the cottage seemed blank and desolate. The good clergyman
felt his absence most keenly.
"Well, well," he would mutter, "a year is soon round and then Ernest
will be with us again!"
As for myself, I tried my books, my harp, took long walks alone, busied
myself in household cares, but I could not reconcile myself to the
absence of Ernest.
Winter came, and one night a letter arrived from Ernest to his
father, and in that letter one for--Frank! How eagerly I took it from
"father's" hand and hurried to my room,--that room which I remember yet
so vividly, with its window opening on the garden, and the picture of
the Virgin Mary on the snow-white wall. Unmindful of the cold, I sat
down alone and perused the letter, O, how eagerly! It was a letter from
a brother to a sister, and yet beneath the calm current of a brother's
love, there flowed a deeper and a warmer love. How joyously he spoke of
his future, and how strangely he seemed to mingle my name with every
image of that future! I read his letter over and over, and slept with
it upon my bosom; and I dreamed, O! such air-castle dreams, in which
a whole lifetime seemed to pass away, while Ernest and Frank, always
young, always happy, went wandering, hand-in-hand, under skies without
a cloud. But I awoke in fright and terror. It seemed to me that a cold
hand--like the hand of a corpse--was laid upon my bosom, and somehow
I thought that my mother was dead and that it was her hand. I started
up in fright and tears, and lay shuddering until the rising sun shone
gayly through the frosted window-pane.
Another year had nearly passed away.
It was June again, and it was toward evening that I stood upon the
cottage porch watching--not the cloudless sky and glorious river bathed
in the setting sun--but watching earnestly for the sound of a footstep.
Ernest was expected home. He had graduated with all the honors--he
was coming home! How I watched and waited for that welcome step! At
last the wicket-gate was opened, and Ernest's step resounded on the
garden-walk. Concealing myself among the vines which covered one of
the pillars of the porch, I watched him as he approached, determining
to burst upon him in a glad surprise as soon as he reached the steps.
His head was downcast, he walked with slow and thoughtful steps; his
long black hair fell wild and tangled on his shoulders. The joyous
hue of youth on his cheek had been replaced by the pallor of long and
painful thought. The hopeful boy of the last year had been changed into
the moody and ambitious man! As he came on, although my heart swelled
to bursting at sight of him, I felt awed and troubled, and forgot my
original intention of bursting upon him in a merry surprise. He reached
the porch--he ascended the step--and I glided silently from behind the
pillar and confronted him. O, how his face lighted up as he saw me! His
eyes, no longer glassy and abstracted, were radiant with a delight too
deep for words!