Nordenholt's Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Nordenholt's Million
John Stuart Mill · en
“It’s quite clear to me. The few details she got from that confounded
missorted form were enough to start her imagination. She instinctively
called up a vision of starving people, suffering children and all the
rest of the affairs in the South. And you know, Jack, these visions
of hers are wonderfully clear and sharp. It wasn’t you who built Fata
Morgana on these afternoons; it was her imagination that did it and you
followed in her track.”
“Yes, you’re quite right, Nordenholt. I don’t think I would have so
much as thought of dream-cities if she hadn’t led the way. And she
certainly had the knack of making them seem concrete.”
“Very well; assume she had this vision of starving humanity. You know
her type of mind--everything for others? What sort of effect would that
picture produce upon her? A tremendous revulsion of feeling, eh? Her
whole emotional side would be up in arms; and she has strong emotions,
though she doesn’t betray them. Her intellectual side didn’t get a
chance against the combination of that picture and her ideals. It was
simply swept out at once.
“But in spite of all her emotions, she’s level-headed. Sooner or later
she’ll begin to think more calmly. And she’s very just, too. That ought
to help, I think. Oh, I don’t despair about her; or rather, I wouldn’t
despair about her if it weren’t for some things that are coming yet.
I’m not going to buoy you up with any hopes, Jack, for I believe in
dealing straight. I can’t let you hope for much; we’ve both lost
enormously in her eyes. But I’ve seen cases in which her imagination
misled her before and her reason came out in the end. It may be so this
time. But don’t expect anything, Jack; and don’t try to gain anything.
She’s a very straight girl, and if she finds she has been wrong she
won’t hesitate to come and admit it to you without any encouragement
on your part. But it has been a horrible affair for her; and you must
remember that, if you think hardly of her at times.”
“_I_ think hardly of her! You don’t know me, Nordenholt, or you
wouldn’t say that.”
“Well, for both our sakes, I hope her intellect will get control of her
feelings. I hate to see her going about her work and know that she has
lost all faith in me now. She was the one creature in the world that
loved me, you know, Jack; and it’s hard.”
Then he laughed contemptuously, as though at his own weakness.
“It’s quite evident I’m not the man I was, Jack. But somehow, in this
affair we’re both in the same boat to some extent; and I let that slip
out. You see that Elsa hasn’t the monopoly of an emotional temperament!”
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