Practical Suggestions for Mother and Housewife — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Practical Suggestions for Mother and Housewife
John Stuart Mill · en
Even such accomplishments as music and painting are most cultural when
pursued as if the intention of the student were to teach them. Knowledge
of technique and of the methods by which its difficulties are overcome
is the foundation of all appreciation of art. The only true connoisseur
is the one who can enter into the delight felt by the artist in creating
his work. Exercise leads to invention. The ancients well said that the
contortions of the sibyl generated her inspiration. Critics have been
sneeringly defined as "those who have failed in literature and art,"
but this is not true of the greatest critics, who never carried their
creative work to the point of success simply because they had found a
better vocation in criticism before reaching such a point. What a loss
to the world it would have been had Ruskin developed into a painter,
even a great one, instead of the master interpreter and teacher of
painting that he did become!
Household employments, such as cooking, needlework, etc., as vocations
for the unmarried woman, no less than the married, need only be
mentioned here, as their appropriateness for the girl at home is
obvious, and they are fully discussed elsewhere in this series. It
should be suggested, however, that the greater leisure of the unmarried
woman enables her to try experiments in these subjects while the married
housewife is too fully occupied by the routine of her duties to
undertake them. Indeed, if a woman become a notable cook after marriage,
it is often a sign that she is not a notable wife or mother.
It is an old saying that,
"My son's my son till he gets him a wife,
But my daughter's my daughter all her life."
By the common bond of sex, a daughter is her mother's natural companion
in sympathy, however separated from her in distance. Therefore, when she
lives at home, what a special obligation is there to be her mother's
comfort and dependence! Even though she acquire greater skill in
household affairs, she should still resign herself to the subordinate
place of assistant.
The thought that she is becoming useless is the chief dread of a woman
who has been a managing worker all her life, and her daughter should
carefully avoid bringing this to her mind, indeed, should so act that
the ageing mother retains the management of the house, even though her
labors diminish. In respect to the direction of children, the elder
daughter should take a hint from the manner in which the school-teacher
supplements rather than supplants the mother in her care of the young
people, leading to a difference in the kind of regard which these feel
for them. The sister should always consider herself simply as the
eldest, most experienced of the children, and so the natural monitor
of the group, and, when necessary, the mediator with the parents.