Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7
John Stuart Mill · en
The reproachful, watching eye of Sunday disappeared, drawn down over the
horizon with the setting sun. Leaving a blissful refreshment, the
strange unearned sense falling always somewhere in the space between
Sunday and Monday, of a test survived, leaving one free to go forward to
the cheerful cluster of oncoming days.
The afterglow faded to a bright twilight, deepening in the garden to a
violet dusk. The sea glimmered in the remaining light that glared along
its further rim like a yawn, holding up the lid of the sky. The figures
in the chairs had grown dim, each face a pale disc set towards the
falling light. The talk died down to small shreds, simple and slow,
steeped in the beauty of the evening, deferring to it, as to a host.
They were still the guests of the evening while they sat grouped round
the lamplit verandah supper-table that turned the dusk into night. But
the end was coming. The voices in the lamplight were growing excited and
forgetful. Indoors and separation were close at hand.
He was oblivious. Given up to his jesting ... she watched his jesting
face, shiny now and a little loose, the pouching of his lips as he
spoke, the animal glimmer of teeth below the scraggy moustache,
repellent, yet part of the fascination of his smile, and perpetually
redeemed by the charm of his talk, the intense charm of the glancing
eyes, seeing and understanding, comforting even when they mistook, and
yet all the time withheld, preoccupied behind their clean rings and
filmy sightless grey--fixed always on the shifting changing mass of
obstructive mannish knowledge, always on _science_, the only thing in
the world that could get his full attention.... She felt her voice pour
out suddenly, violently quenching a flicker of speech. He glanced,
attentive, healing her despair with his quick interest. The women awoke
from their conspiring trance, alert towards her, watching.
"Yes." His voice followed hers without a break, cool, a comment on her
violence. He turned, looking into the night. His shaggy intelligent
gaze, the reflective slight lift of his eyebrows gave him the look of an
old man lost. The rosy scene was chilled. Cold light and harsh black
shadow, his averted form in profile, helpless, making empty the deeps of
the thing that was called a summer night. Her desire beat no longer
towards the open scene. She hated it. For its sake she had pulled him
up, brought down this desolation.
"It's a good night. It's about the human optime in nights. We ought to
sleep out." He turned back to the table, gathering up expressions,
radiating his amusement at the disarray caused by his absence.
"Let's sleep out. Miriam will. Unless we lock her in." He was on his
feet, eagerly halted, gathering opinions. His eyes came to rest on Alma.
"Let's be dogs. Be driven, by Miriam, into fresh fields of experience."