"It was just one of her attacks." Suppose Sarah should have one, at this
moment? Suppose it was Sarah who was paying for her escapade? She
summoned her despairingly, explaining ... saw her instant approval and
her private astonishment at the reason for the deceit.
Supported by Sarah she rounded off her story.
"I see," said Mr. Hancock pleasantly; weighing, accepting. She stood
before him seeing the incident as he would imagine it. It was growing
true in her mind. Presently she would be looking back on it. This was
how criminals got themselves mixed up....
"I'm glad it was not anything serious," said Mr. Hancock gravely,
turning to the scatter of letters on his table. He _was_ glad. And his
kind sympathy was not being fooled. Sarah was always being ill. It was
worth a lie to drag her out into the light of his sympathy. A breath of
true life, born from a lie.
The incident was at an end, safely through. He was satisfied and
believing, gone on into his day. She gathered up his appointment book
from under his nose. He was using it, making entries. But he knew this
small tyranny was her real apology, a curse for the trouble she had been
obliged to give him. While he sat bereft as she took in the items of his
day, their silent everyday conversation was knitted up once more. She
was there, not failing him. He knew she would always be there as long as
he should really need her. She restored the book to its place and stood
at his side affectionately watching him tackle his task, detached, aware
of her affection, secure in its independence.
They were so utterly far apart, foreigners in each other's worlds.
Irreconcilable.... But for all these years she had had daily before her
eyes the spectacle of his life work; the way and the cost of his
undeviating, unsparing work. It must surely be a small comfort to him
that there had been an understanding witness to the shapely building of
his life....
Understanding speech she could never have, with anyone ... except the
Taylors, and she was as incompletely in their world as in his. The joy
of being with him was the absence of the need for speech. She whisked
herself to the door and went out shutting it behind her with a little
slam, a last fling of holiday freedom, her communication to him of the
store of joy she had brought back, the ease with which she was
shouldering her more and more methodical, irrelevant work....
There was nothing to pay. Then the moment over the telegram _had_ been a
revelation....
* * * * *
"You ought to see the Grahams. Stay another day and see the Grahams."