Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7
John Stuart Mill · en
For instance, the sudden appearance of the revolutionaries just at this
moment, seemed so apt. She had always wanted to meet revolutionaries,
yet had never gone forth to seek them. Since her contact with
socialists, she had been more curious about them than ever. And here
they were, on their way to her, just as the meaning and some of the
limitations of socialism were growing distinct. Yet it was absurd to
suppose that their visit to England, in the midst of their exciting
career, should have been timed to meet her need. Nor would they convince
her. The light that shone about them was the anticipation of a momentary
intense interest that would leave her a step farther on the lonely
wandering that so distracted her from the day's work, and kept her
family and the old known life at such an immeasurable distance. It was
her ruling devil who had just handed her, punctually on the eve of their
arrival, material for conversation with revolutionaries.
But it also seemed to be the mysterious friend, her star, the queer
strange _luck_ that dogged her path always reviving happiness, bringing
a sudden joy when there was nothing to account for it, plunging her into
some new unexpected thing at the very moment of perfect hopelessness. It
was like a game ... something was having a game of hide and seek with
her. She winked, smiling, at the returned surrounding glow, and turned
back to run up and down the steps of the neglected argument.
It was clear in her mind. Freed from the fascinating distraction of the
little man's mannerisms, it spread fresh light, in all directions,
tempering the golden light of the street; showing, beyond the outer
darkness of the night, the white radiance of the distant future. Within
the radiance, troops of people marched ahead, with springing footsteps;
the sound of song in their ceaselessly talking voices; the forward march
of a unanimous, light-hearted humanity along a pathway of white morning
light.... The land of promise that she would never see; not through
being born too soon, but by being incapable of unanimity. All these
people had one mind. They approved of each other and were gay in unity.
The spectacle of their escape from the shadows lessened the pain of
being left behind. Perhaps even a moment's contemplation of the future
helped to bring it about? Every thought vibrates through the universe.
Then there was absolution in thought, even from the anger of
everlastingly talking people, contemptuous of silence and aloofness. And
there was unity with the future.
The surrounding light glowed with a richer intensity. Flooded through
her, thrilling her feet to swiftness.
If the revolutionaries could be with her now, they would find in her
something of the state towards which they were violently straining? They
would pause and hover for a moment, with half envious indulgence. But
sooner or later they would say things about robust English health; its
unconsciousness of its surroundings.