Strictly Business: More Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
“Better make that vinegar raise three cents instead of two. I’ll be
back in an hour and sign the letters.”
The true history of the Caliph Harun Al Rashid relates that toward the
end of his reign he wearied of philanthropy, and caused to be beheaded
all his former favorites and companions of his “Arabian Nights”
rambles. Happy are we in these days of enlightenment, when the only
death warrant the caliphs can serve on us is in the form of a
tradesman’s bill.
XVIII
THE GIRL AND THE HABIT
HABIT—a tendency or aptitude acquired by custom or frequent repetition.
The critics have assailed every source of inspiration save one. To that
one we are driven for our moral theme. When we levied upon the masters
of old they gleefully dug up the parallels to our columns. When we
strove to set forth real life they reproached us for trying to imitate
Henry George, George Washington, Washington Irving, and Irving
Bacheller. We wrote of the West and the East, and they accused us of
both Jesse and Henry James. We wrote from our heart—and they said
something about a disordered liver. We took a text from Matthew
or—er—yes, Deuteronomy, but the preachers were hammering away at the
inspiration idea before we could get into type. So, driven to the wall,
we go for our subject-matter to the reliable, old, moral, unassailable
vade mecum—the unabridged dictionary.
Miss Merriam was cashier at Hinkle’s. Hinkle’s is one of the big
downtown restaurants. It is in what the papers call the “financial
district.” Each day from 12 o’clock to 2 Hinkle’s was full of hungry
customers—messenger boys, stenographers, brokers, owners of mining
stock, promoters, inventors with patents pending—and also people with
money.
The cashiership at Hinkle’s was no sinecure. Hinkle egged and toasted
and griddle-caked and coffeed a good many customers; and he lunched (as
good a word as “dined”) many more. It might be said that Hinkle’s
breakfast crowd was a contingent, but his luncheon patronage amounted
to a horde.
Miss Merriam sat on a stool at a desk inclosed on three sides by a
strong, high fencing of woven brass wire. Through an arched opening at
the bottom you thrust your waiter’s check and the money, while your
heart went pit-a-pat.
For Miss Merriam was lovely and capable. She could take 45 cents out of
a $2 bill and refuse an offer of marriage before you could—Next!—lost
your chance—please don’t shove. She could keep cool and collected while
she collected your check, give you the correct change, win your heart,
indicate the toothpick stand, and rate you to a quarter of a cent
better than Bradstreet could to a thousand in less time than it takes
to pepper an egg with one of Hinkle’s casters.
There is an old and dignified allusion to the “fierce light that beats
upon a throne.” The light that beats upon the young lady cashier’s cage
is also something fierce. The other fellow is responsible for the
slang.