Strictly Business: More Stories of the Four Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Strictly Business: More Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
“Ah—Colombia!” said the Secretary, significantly, when he was made to
understand; “I’m afraid there will be a little difficulty in that case.
The President and I differ in our sympathies there. He prefers the
established government, while I—” the secretary gave the General a
mysterious but encouraging smile. “You, of course, know, General
Falcon, that since the Tammany war, an act of Congress has been passed
requiring all manufactured arms and ammunition exported from this
country to pass through the War Department. Now, if I can do anything
for you I will be glad to do so to oblige my old friend, Mr. Kelley.
But it must be in absolute secrecy, as the President, as I have said,
does not regard favorably the efforts of your revolutionary party in
Colombia. I will have my orderly bring a list of the available arms now
in the warehouse.”
The Secretary struck a bell, and an orderly with the letters A. D. T.
on his cap stepped promptly into the room.
“Bring me Schedule B of the small arms inventory,” said the Secretary.
The orderly quickly returned with a printed paper. The Secretary
studied it closely.
“I find,” he said, “that in Warehouse 9, of Government stores, there is
shipment of 2,000 stands of Winchester rifles that were ordered by the
Sultan of Morocco, who forgot to send the cash with his order. Our rule
is that legal-tender money must be paid down at the time of purchase.
My dear Kelley, your friend, General Falcon, shall have this lot of
arms, if he desires it, at the manufacturer’s price. And you will
forgive me, I am sure, if I curtail our interview. I am expecting the
Japanese Minister and Charles Murphy every moment!”
As one result of this interview, the General was deeply grateful to his
esteemed friend, Mr. Kelley. As another, the nimble Secretary of War
was extremely busy during the next two days buying empty rifle cases
and filling them with bricks, which were then stored in a warehouse
rented for that purpose. As still another, when the General returned to
the Hotel Español, Mrs. O’Brien went up to him, plucked a thread from
his lapel, and said:
“Say, señor, I don’t want to ‘butt in,’ but what does that
monkey-faced, cat-eyed, rubber-necked tin horn tough want with you?”
“Sangre de mi vida!” exclaimed the General. “Impossible it is that you
speak of my good friend, Señor Kelley.”
“Come into the summer garden,” said Mrs. O’Brien. “I want to have a
talk with you.”
Let us suppose that an hour has elapsed.
“And you say,” said the General, “that for the sum of $18,000 can be
purchased the furnishment of the house and the lease of one year with
this garden so lovely—so resembling unto the patios of my cara
Colombia?”
“And dirt cheap at that,” sighed the lady.