An Irishman, who was at the celebrated battle of Bull's Run, was somewhat startled when the head of his companion on the left was taken off by a cannon-ball. In a few minutes, however, a spent ball broke off the finger of his comrade on the other side. The latter threw down his gun and howled with pain, when the Irishman rushed upon him, exclaiming, "You owld woman, sthop cryin'! You are making more noise about it than the man who just lost his head!" STRONG INDUCEMENT TO CLOSE UP.--399. A Cincinnati paper, in speaking of the overthrow of the rebels at Phillippi, says that just before the Federal troops entered the town, a certain Indiana company, almost worn out with the march, were straggling along with very little regard to order. Hurrying up to his men, the captain shouted, "Close up, close up. _If the enemy were to fire when you're straggling along that way, they couldn't hit a cussed one of you!_ Close up!" And the boys closed up immediately. STEAM DEFINED.--400. At a railway station, an old lady said to a very pompous-looking gentleman, who was talking about steam communication: "Pray, sir, what is steam?" "Steam, ma'am, is ah!--steam, is ah! ah! steam is--steam!" "I knew that chap couldn't tell ye," said a rough-looking fellow standing by; "but steam is a bucket of water in a tremendous perspiration." A "BUS" IN THE CARS.--401. Friends are in the habit of warmly greeting their acquaintances upon the arrival of passenger cars at some of the railway stations. It was only the other day that a young gentleman rushed through a crowd towards a lady, seized her hand, and gave her a hearty kiss, the smack of which sounded above--we were going to say the ding of dongs; but it is enough to state that the report startled a country lass hard by, who exclaimed to her "feller," "Massy, Josh! what on airth's gev way on the keers?" HOUSEHOLD WORDS.--402. Pshaw! Stop your noise! Shut up this minute! I'll box your ears! You hold your tongue! Let me be! Go away! Get out! Behave yourself! I won't! You shall! Never mind! You'll catch it! Don't bother! Come here directly! Put away those things! You'll kill yourself! I don't care! They're mine! Mind your own business! I'll tell ma! You mean thing! There, I told you so! You didn't! You did! I will have it! Oh, see what you have done! 'Twas you! Won't you catch it, though? It's my house! Who's afraid of you? Mah-h-h! Boo, hoo, boo, hoo, oo! What's the matter? Clear out of this room, directly! Do you hear me? Dear me! I never did see in all my born days! It's enough to set one crazy! Would you put a tuck in it? Well, says I! Says he! Says she! Says they! Bless me! No! Hem it all this way round! Three flounces! Gored! Worked crosswise! Trimmed with velvet! Ten yards? Cut bias! Real sweet! Tut! Wal, now! HIS REASONS FOR LEAVING.--403.