A colporteur recently entered a log-house of a dweller in Ohio, and asked the mistress of the household if they had the gospel there. She said: "No; but they have it dreadful bad about four miles below." This may have been the same colporteur who entered another log-house, and inquired if there were any Presbyterians in that vicinity. He was answered: "I guess not; my old man has not killed any since we have lived here." In one instance the colporteur was taken for a doctor; in the other for a hunter. THE CHICKENS IN TENNESSEE.--61. One day a wealthy old lady, whose plantation was in the vicinity of the camp, came in and inquired for General Payne. When the commander made his appearance, the old lady, in warm language, at once acquainted him with the fact that his men had stolen her last coop full of chickens, and demanded their restitution or their value in currency. "I am sorry for you, madam," replied the general, "but I can't help it. The fact is, madam, we are determined to squelch out the rebellion, if it takes every chicken in Tennessee." A SONNET INSTEAD OF A BONNET.--62. An officer in Banks's department recently received a letter from his little daughter at home, asking him to send her money with which to buy a new bonnet, to which he replied as follows:-- "I would send you a kiss, dear daughter, As pure from a fond father's lips, And as chaste as the drop of water That fresh from an icicle drips; But kisses thus sent in a letter Would lose all their sweetness for thee, And I know it would please thee far better To receive a few greenbacks from me. But as I am 'hard up,' and you not in need, You will have to put up with the will for the deed; I therefore send you this nice little sonnet, Instead of the greenbacks to buy you a bonnet." THE OLD HEN AND CHICKENS.--63. Aunt E. was trying to persuade little Eddy to retire at sundown. "You see, my dear, how the little chickens go to roost at that time." "Yes, aunty," replied Eddy, "but the old hen always goes with them." Aunty tried no more arguments with him. STRANGE PECULIARITIES.--64. A Western editor sums up the peculiarities of a contemporary as follows:--He is too lazy to earn a meal, and too mean to enjoy one. He was never generous but once, and that was when he gave the itch to an apprentice boy--so much for his goodness of heart! Of his industry, he says, the public may judge when he states that the only time he ever worked was when he mistook castor oil for honey. GRIM WELCOME.--65. On the evening before the last unsuccessful attempt to storm the defences of Port Hudson, some of our skirmishers were endeavouring, under cover of darkness, to draw closer to the rebel works. A rebel sentinel discovered them, and hallooed out: "How are you, Yank?" One of our men replied: "Yes, we're bound to come." "All right," returned the rebel, "we have got room enough to bury you." BACHELORISM A LUXURY.--66.