Mr. Dickson, a coloured barber in a large New England town, was shaving one of his customers, a respectable citizen, one morning, when a conversation occurred between them respecting Mr. Dickson's former connexion with a coloured church in that place. "I believe you are connected with the church in Elm Street, are you not, Mr. Dickson?" said the customer. "No, sah, not at all." "Why did you leave your connexion, Mr. Dickson, if I maybe permitted to ask?" "Well, I'll tell you, sah," said Mr. Dickson; "it was just like dis: I jined the church in good fait; I gave ten dollars towards de stated gospel de fus' year, and de church people call me _Brudder_ Dickson; the second year my business was not so good, and I gib only five dollars. Dat year people call me _Mr._ Dickson. Dis razor hurt you, sah?" "No, the razor goes tolerably well." "Well, sah, the third I fell berry poor; had sickness in my family, and didn't gib nothin' for preachin'. Well, sah, arter dat dey call me 'dat ole nigger Dickson,' and I left 'em." KNOCKING AT THE CHURCH DOOR.--71. An Indianapolis editor attending church on a recent Sabbath for the first time in many years, stopped at the entrance, and after looking in vain for the bell-pull, deliberately knocked at the door, and politely waited until somebody opened it and let him in. SCENE IN AN AMERICAN COURT.--72. There was a hush in the police court-room as the red-nosed judge took his seat upon the bench, and in a pompous tone of authority shouted, "Bring the prisoner into court!" "Here I am, bound to blaze, as the spirit of turpentine said when he was all a-fire," said the prisoner. "We'll take a little fire out of you. How do you live?" asked the judge. "I ain't particular, as the oyster said when they asked him if he'd be roasted or fried." "We don't want to know what the oyster said, or the spirits of turpentine either. What do you follow?" "Anything that comes in my way, as the locomotive said when she ran over a little nigger." "Don't care anything about the locomotive. What is your business?" "That's various, as the cat said when she stole the chicken off the table." "If I hear any more absurd comparisons, I will give you twelve months." "I'm done, as the beefsteak said to the cook." "Now, sir, your punishment shall depend on the shortness and correctness of your answers. I suppose you live by going round the docks." "No, sir; I can't go around the docks without a coat, and I ain't got none." "Answer me, sir! How do you get your bread?" "Sometimes at the baker's, and sometimes I eat taters." "No more of your stupid nonsense. How do you support yourself?" "Sometimes on my legs, and sometimes on a chair." "How do you keep yourself alive?" "By breathing, sir." "I order you to answer this question correctly. How do you do?" "Pretty well, I thank you, judge. How do you do?" "I shall have to commit you." "Well, you've committed yourself first, that's some consolation." The prisoner went out of court with a jerk, and was