An American editor acknowledges the receipt of a bottle of brandy 48 years old, and says "this brandy is so old that we very much fear it cannot live much longer." NOVEL EFFECT OF A SECOND MARRIAGE.--295. One of the substitute soldiers who was presented for examination at Captain Hamlin's office recently was a man who gave his name as (we will say) Michael Flynn. When he was stripped, upon his arm was clearly tattooed the name of John Sullivan. "But, I thought, you said your name was Michael Flynn?" said the doctor. "Yes," stammered the Hibernian sub, "but I have been married twice." Michael passed. STRIKING DEFINITION OF A COQUETTE.--296. A Western genius defines a coquette as a box of snuff, from which every lover takes a pinch. Her husband, fortunate or unfortunate wretch, as he may think himself, gets the box--on the ear. QUALIFICATIONS FOR A PARSON.--297. It is related of a certain church in New York, whose deacons and principal men are of the conservative order, that when recently in want of a pastor, they made application to a divine noted for his talents and brilliancy of oratory to become their settled minister. While negotiating the "call" they signified to the divine that they did not want a man to preach politics or temperance. "What kind of a preacher do you want?" inquired the minister. To which they replied that they desired a pastor who was "_rather religiously inclined_." This reminds us of a popular preacher we used to know down East, one of whose prominent parishioners considered him the perfection of a preacher, because "he never meddles with either politics or religion!" EXTRAORDINARY ABSENCE OF MIND.--298. The most recent case of absence of mind is that of an editor, who lately copied from a hostile paper one of his own articles, and headed it, "Wretched attempt at wit." A JOKE BY JENKINS.--299. "A beautiful day, Mr. Jenkins?" "Yes, very pleasant, indeed." "Good day for the race." "Race, what race?" "The human race." "Oh, go along with your stupid jokes; get up a good one, like the one with which I sold Day." "Day, what Day?" "The day we celebrate," said Jenkins, who went on his way rejoicing. "AND THAT'S A FACT."--300. A paper notorious for its veracity says "that a man in New Hampshire went out gunning one day this spring; he saw a flock of pigeons sitting on a branch of an old pine, so he dropped a ball into his gun and fired. The ball split the branch, which closed up, and caught the toes of all the birds in it. He saw that he had got them all, and so he fastened two balls together and fired, cut the branch off, which fell into the river. He then waded in and brought it on shore. On counting them there were 300 pigeons, and in his boots were two barrels of shad." A QUESTION FOR ASTRONOMERS.--301.