An Irishman being asked why he left his country for America, replied, "It wasn't for want; I had plenty of that at home." SAM SLICK ON HAPPINESS.--363. It takes a great deal to make happiness, for everything must be in time, like a piano; but it takes very little to spoil it. Fancy a bride, now, having a toothache, or a swelled face during the honeymoon. In courtship she won't show, but in marriage she can't help it. A LAGGING COMPLIMENT.--364. An American editor once, in attempting to compliment General Pillow as a "battle-scarred veteran," was made by the typos to call him a "battle-scared veteran." In the next issue the mistake was so far corrected as to style him a "bottle-scarred veteran." WEDLOCK FIRST INSTITUTED.--365. Wedlock was first instituted in Paradise. Well, there must have been a charming climate there. It could not have been too hot, for Eve never used a parasol, or even a "kiss-me-quick;" and Adam never complained, though he wore no clothes, that the sun blistered his skin. It could not have been wet, or they would have coughed all the time, like consumptive sheep; and it would have spoiled their garden, let alone giving them the chilblains and the snuffles. They didn't require umbrellas, uglies, fans, or india-rubber shoes. There was no such a thing as a stroke of the sun, or a snow-drift there. The temperature must have been perfect, and connubial bliss I allot was rael jam up. The only thing that seemed wanting there was for some one to drop in to tea now and then, for Eve to have a good chat with, while Adam was a studyin' astronomy, or tryin' to invent a kettle that would stand fire; for women do like talking, that's a fact, and there are many little things they have to say to each other that no man has any right to hear, and if he did he couldn't understand.--_Sam Slick._ A STRIKING LESSON.--366. A canal boat was once passing through a narrow lock on the Erie line, and the captain hailed the passengers and said, "Look out!" Well, a Frenchman thinking something strange was to be seen, popped his head out, and it was cut off in a minute. "Oh, _mon Dieu_!" said his comrade, "dat is a very _striking_ lesson in English. On land look out means open the window, and see what you will see. On board canal boat it means have your head in, and don't look at nothin."--_Sam Slick._ A DISINTERESTED LIEUTENANT.--367. "Feller sogers," said a newly-elected lieutenant of the militia, "I am all-fired obliged to you for this shove-up in the ranks you have given me. Feller sogers, I'm not going to forget your kindness soon, not by a darned sight; and I'll tell you what it is, I'll stick to my post like pitch to a pine-board, so long as ther's peace; but as I go in for rotation in office, and if we should come to blows with the British, darned if I don't resign right off, and give every feller a fair shake for fame and glory." CLAIMING AND TAKING EXEMPTION.--368.