The American Joe Miller: A Collection of Yankee Wit and Humor
John Stuart Mill · en
THE _Steuben Courier_ says that a man walked forty miles to claim
exemption from the war-draft, on the ground of inability to stand
long marches and the hardships of camp life.--A man named Jefferson
Davis was drafted in New Bedford on Tuesday last. We hope that he
may be able to go, and be in at the death of his illustrious rebel
namesake.--Seven of the waiters in one of the popular hotels of Boston
were the victims of the draft, but the next morning after their names
had been drawn from the wheel of the Provost-Marshal, they had all
skedaddled to parts unknown, and have not been heard of since.--There
were two Mike Sullivans, the _Boston Herald_ says, living at Fort
Hill, and neither had any other distinction. One of them was drafted,
but which of them neither could tell, nor any one else. One of them
was called upon by a friend, who inquired if he was the Michael
Sullivan who had been drafted. "Yes," said Mike, "I suppose I am."
"Are you sure of that, now?" exclaimed Mike's friend. "How the
divil do you know but you axe the other Mike Sullivan?"--A laughable
circumstance took place in the Fourteenth Ward, Philadelphia, during
the drafting. Everything was going on quietly, and good humour
appeared to be depicted upon every countenance. Among the many
hundreds that were there was a pale-faced son of the Emerald Isle,
gazing on the wheel, and at every revolution gasping for breath. Of a
sudden, losing all control of himself, he burst out: "Wherl it round!
wherl it round!--rouse it, will ye!" "What's the matter with you?"
said the Provost-Marshal. "Oh, be jabers, turn it round a dozen times,
for that man you drawed last is my next door neighbour."
GREAT SCARCITY.--369.
Speaking of the great scarcity of provisions down South, a Northern
paper says--"Tea is so scarce in the South that they haven't even
drawings of it, and there are no grounds for supposing that they have
any coffee."
THE CAPTAIN'S PUDDING.--370.