The following story is told of a Yankee captain and his mate:--Whenever there was a plum-pudding made, by the captain's orders, all the plums were put into one end of it, and that end placed next to the captain, who, after helping himself, passed it to the mate, who never found any plums in his part of it. After this game had been played for some time, the mate prevailed on the steward to place the end which had no plums in it next to the captain. The captain no sooner perceived that the pudding had the wrong end turned towards him, than picking up the dish, and turning it round, as if to examine the china, he said: "This dish cost me two shillings in Liverpool;" and put it down, as if without design, with the plum end next to himself. "Is it possible?" said the mate, taking up the dish. "I shouldn't suppose it was worth more than a shilling." And, as if in perfect innocence, he put down the dish with the plums next to himself. The captain looked at the mate; the mate looked at the captain. The captain laughed; the mate laughed. "I tell you what, young one," said the captain, "you've found me out, so we will just cut the pudding lengthwise this time, and have the plums fairly distributed hereafter." SALARY NOT SO MUCH AN OBJECT, ETC.--371. Minister used to amuse me beyond anything, poor old soul. Once the congregation met, and raised his wages from three to four hundred dollars a-year. Well, it nearly set him crazy; it bothered him so he could hardly sleep. So, after church was over the next Sunday, he said, "My dear brethren, I hear you have raised my salary to four hundred dollars. I am greatly obliged to you for your kindness, but I can't think of taking it on no account. First, you can't afford it, no how you can fix it, and I know it. Secondly, I ain't worth it, and you know it; and, thirdly, I am nearly tired to death collecting my present income. If I have to dun the same way for that it will kill me. I can't stand it; I shall die. No, no, pay me what you allow me more punctually, and it is all I ask, or will ever receive."--_Sam Slick._ ARTEMUS WARD TO THE PRINCE OF WALES.--372.