Two city merchants conversing upon business at the door of the New York Coffee-house, one of them made some remarks on the badness of the times; and perceiving at the moment a flight of pigeons passing over their heads, he exclaimed, "How happy are those pigeons! they have no acceptances to provide for." To which the other replied, "You are rather in error, my friend, for _they_ have their _bills to provide for_ as well as we!" GENERAL LEE AND A SON OF ERIN.--374. When General Lee was a prisoner at Albany he dined with an Irishman. Before entering upon the wine, the general remarked to his host, that after drinking he was apt to abuse Irishmen, for which he hoped the host would excuse him in advance. "By my soul, general, I will do that," said his host, "if you will excuse a trifling fault which I have myself. It is this: whenever I hear a man abusing old Ireland, I have a sad fault of cracking his head with my shillaly!" The general was civil during the rest of the evening. THE NIAGARA FALLS FROM FOUR POINTS OF VIEW.--375. Mr. G. A. Sala, describing the Niagara Falls, says:--"A Swiss watchmaker observed that he was very glad 'de beautiful ting was going.' He looked upon it as some kind of clockwork arrangement, which would run down and be wound up again. Everybody knows the story of the 'cute Yankee who called it 'an almighty water privilege.' It is one, and would turn all the mill-wheels in the world. 'Here creation's done its d--dest,' remarked another; and, quoth a fourth, 'I guess this hyar suckles the ocean sea considerable.'" LOGIC OF CONGRESS.--376. The House of Representatives at Washington has passed, by a majority of seven to one, a resolution which, after stating the existence of rebellion, runs thus:--"Resolved, that it is the political, civil, moral, and sacred duty of the poople to meet it, fight it, and for ever destroy it, thereby establishing perfect and unalterable liberty." COLT'S ARMS _versus_ COLT'S LEGS.--377. Colt's arms are useful when you want to fight, but if you want to run away, colt's legs are better. INFANTILE IDEAS OF DISTANCE.--378. A happy comment on the annihilation of time and space by locomotive agency was made by a little child who rode fifty miles in a railway train, and then took a coach to her uncle's house, some five miles further, and was asked on her arrival if she came by the cars. "We came a little way in the cars, and all the rest of the way in a carriage." "DAT'S DE MYSTERY."--379.