Arnott was not particularly popular in Wynberg: he was too reserved to
make friends easily; but his hospitality was lavish and attracted people
to the house; and his wife was a general favourite. Men admired her for
her sparkling prettiness, and women took to her readily: she was easy to
get on with, and she gave pleasant parties. She did not, however, form
particular friendships with her own sex; she was a little shy with women
and preferred male society, which is not unusual in the case of a woman
whose life has been spent in schoolrooms in the unexciting transition
from student to teacher, surrounded always with an atmosphere of
immature femininity. Pamela never quite grasped the feminine mind, and
had little sympathy with its restricted outlook. This inability to
comprehend the sex of which she was a representative, she attributed to
the fact that, having been saturated with feminine principles from her
youth up, she had become so confused with its mass of inconsistencies
that she failed utterly to realise its finer qualities. The brain of
the woman teacher is usually developed on one-sided lines. Indeed, the
chief failing of the average woman lies in the fact that she refuses to
look at life all round, but persists in regarding it from her sole point
of view; and the point of the woman is to ignore realities if by chance
they happen to affront her. A want of sincerity therefore mars the
beautiful vision of life.
Pamela did not consciously look at life from any particular point. So
far the world had treated her well; and she accepted the pleasant
condition of things, and was undemonstratively grateful.
One cloud there was in her serene sky of happiness, and that was that
she had no son; the pretty little girl in the nursery had been a
disappointment. Arnott, himself, had not desired children: the birth of
the baby had vexed him, and Pamela's hunger for a male addition was a
further aggravation. He could not understand, he told her, why one kid
would not suffice. Children were a responsibility, and gave more
trouble than pleasure. Certainly he derived no pleasure from his child,
and Pamela was very careful that it should not be a trouble to him. She
seldom had the child with her when he was present: small children
possibly worried him, she decided; when the baby grew older she would
make a place for herself in his heart.
"And then," she reflected, with a little rueful smile, "my nose will be
out of joint."
It was odd what a pang this prospective jealousy caused her. She could
not bear the thought of sharing her husband's love, even with her child.
And yet there was room in her own heart for both.
"I am so happy, Herbert," she said, as they paced the garden path
together in the summer dusk. "It doesn't seem right, somehow, to be so
entirely satisfied. I feel at times that it is too good to last. How
can it? One can't go on being happy for ever."